- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
Hi bees! I have been reading these boards for a few weeks but finally decided to post something, since I have a bit of a problem and am not sure how to handle this. From what I have seen, people tend to give very thoughtful and helpful responses and so that is why I am here. 🙂
Here is the problem. Today I logged on to facebook and to my surprise, an ex boyfriend has requested to be my friend. We have been broken up for 5 years, had very little contact throughout that time, and I was the one who defriended him following our break up because I felt it was the healthiest thing for both of us.
I am currently in a very happy relationship and have been for the past 3 years. From what I have heard from mutual friends, I believe my ex is also in another relationship and moved out of state. There are absolutely no feelings here whatsoever, and I personally feel enough time has gone by that it would not bother me to be his facebook friend now. The only reason I am hesitant to add him is that I do not want to needlessly anger or worry my boyfriend.
I am wondering if I should just go ahead and add him, or do you think I should talk to my boyfriend about it first? But honestly, I think it would anger me to feel as though I have to “ask permission” to do soemthing, I would more just be telling him in order to be upfront about it so that he doesn’t notice on his own and then wonder why I didn’t bring it up. Or do you think having a talk with him about it would be drawing attention to something that shouldn’t be an issue in the first place? I am really tempted to just make my friends list private and add him in order to avoid any confrontation, but then I am afraid it looks like I am trying to hide soemthing when I don’t have anything to hide. My boyfriend is not the jealous type, but I have told him my philosophy that once I break up with someone I cut all contact so he would probably be wondering why I would add him as a friend now. It’s really not that I want or need to be in contact with him, I just feel as though so much time has gone by, why not? Plus, it seems rude to just ignore or deny the request.
What would you do if you were in this situation?