(Closed) Facebook drama with my grandma (yes, grandma)

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Well it sounds like you and your grandmother are cut from the same cloth.  You have no problem expressing yourself in the way you see fit, and neither does she. 


Post # 4
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was going to suggest setting her to a limited profile, but I see that you’ve already decided against that.  So, I don’t really know what else to suggest.  I think in face to face relations I share different things with my best friend vs. colleague vs. auntie so it makes sense to do the same on facebook, but if you’re a warts and all kinda person, and don’t mind dealing with the fall out, then I guess just leave it…

Post # 5
10565 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would just make it so she can’t see your newsfeed stuff.  Especially when it isn’t things you’ve made, but just things you’re sharing.  You can still write on each others’ timelines and things like that and allow her to see your status etc.  It’s your call though.

Post # 6
1382 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

HAHA.. I’m a huge fan of the “I f******* Love Science” page..

I honestly believe that the seriously elderly shouldn’t be on Facebook.. or on the road too, for that matter.  They’re bound to see really offensive behavior in either places.

I’d probably have my mom or dad tell my grandmother that FB is unpredictable and that she shouldn’t log onto it if she’s just going to get offended by anything and everything.

Either that or I really wouldn’t have qualms about setting certain people to limited profiles.  I blocked certain cousins/aunts from seeing my status updates.  It’s really better that way.

Post # 7
9216 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

I agree, I’d just make it so she can only see your status but not the stuff you share. 

On one hand I totally agree with you about it’s a different time, don’t censor yourself, etc.  And btw i LOVE the “I fucking love science” page!  I’m a biologist 🙂

But on the other hand, it’s your grandma.  She has different views on the world than this generation, and those views are not going to change.  As unfair as it may seem, she will judge you on this kind of thing.  Is it really worth offending your sweet little grandma and making her think differently about you, over pictures posted on facebook?  At that age, they don’t have very much to do or think about, and family is super important.  So this kind of thing that’s “no big deal” to us, can become quite a big deal to them.

So I’d do the limited view thing.  It’s win-win – you post the stuff you like but you don’t offend sweet grandma.  It’s a small sacrifice to make for a lady who has, I’m sure, done a lot for you.

Post # 8
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Ha. That’s exactly why I don’t re-share pictures from pages with crazy names like that. If I really like something, and want to share it, I’ll save the picture to my computer and share it myself. Although that page you shared from doesn’t sound particularly ‘bad’ to me, some of them are really bad, so I just go around them! 


Post # 9
5405 posts
Bee Keeper

Well the easy solution would be to add her to a list that doesn’t see every single thing you post. If you refuse to do that, then there’s not much you can do. I understand your frustration, but remember you’re lucky to still have living grandparents. A lot of us of marriage age don’t, and I would love to be able to chat with my grandma. 

Post # 10
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First and foremost…

I think it a riot that your 78 year old Gramma is on FaceBook… good for her.

Truly the problem isn’t hers… it is yours IMO

FaceBook is a form of PUBLIC communication… sadly I think too many people forget this fact.

And as such, there are some responsibilities that goes along with that… and therefore reprocussions IF you step outside the lines

You don’t live in a vacuum

What you say, write, reveal about yourself in PUBLIC is open to citicism… even if it comes from your Gramma

I doubt that if Gramma was visiting your Mom & Dad that you’d walk in to the room… and stop dropping F-Bombs left right and centre just because you are an adult and can

More than likely you’d take into account WHERE you were, and WHO was present… and adjust your language accordingly (the polite thing to do… because well you are a well brought up gal who does know what is and isn’t “lady like” in a particular situation)

The Internet is the same sort of thing.

If Gramma is gonna be reading your stuff… then you need to take that all into account.  (Just like if your EMPLOYER was gonna read stuff about you on line… which By The Way has sadly happened to a lot of people with some devastating results)

You want to have more control over what people think of you… and any fall out that happens … then you need to take control of what you put out there in the world… be it verbally or in writing !!

Being more discerning about things isn’t restrictive… in the end it really can be more empowering… because you get the final say (not someone else) on what info the world has about you and how it is used (be that today, tomorrow or 20 years from now… because altho you can say or do something cra-cra in real life and laugh about it, and get over it.  When you do it on the Internet it is there FOREVER)

Hope this helps,


Post # 12
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think adding her to your limited profile is really the best way to avoid all future drama! My grandmother is on my facebook too, as are a couple other people (managers at work, one of my teachers) who I worry will end up seeing something inappropriate on my profile! Nothing that I’ve posted, but I’ve had friends post some inappropriate things before.. yikes!

If you go to your friends list, beside her name click on “friends”, and you can change it to “limited profile”…. I just haven’t been able to find the place in settings where you can edit what your limited profile allows them to see! Facebook is always changing things around… grr.

Post # 13
10565 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

@Stace126:  You can customize as you post things, it’s on the left hand side of the post button.  To customize settings for all your future posts, go to the wheel looking thing on the top right hand side (by home) and go to privacy settings.  Hopefully from there things should be self-explanatory.

Post # 14
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

LIMITED PROFILE! My whoooooooooooooole family (minus mommy) is on limited profile to save me the stress & drama.

Post # 15
1724 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1998

Whenever you make a status update or a note, you should see a small flower and drop-down menu along the bottom right of it. Clicking on that will pull up things like “Custom,” “Public,” etc. You can set it to “Custom,” and then type in her name in the section below that reads, “Hide this from…” Double-check with everything you post, though. Facebook isn’t exactly known for staying the course with its privacy settings.

If you don’t block your things and your grandma chooses to confront you about how she thinks you should act or speak, I’d say, “I’m sorry that we don’t see eye-to-eye, Grandma. How are you doing?” By apologizing for what you type, you’re making it clear that it’s acceptable for her to critique your language. When she realizes that she can comment until she’s blue in the face and you don’t back down, she will eventually learn. I don’t mean to say that you can expect this if you’re posting very colorful rants. But I would be annoyed if anything I posted that was slightly controversial led to a debate.


Post # 16
1094 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I effin love that page too! They post the neatest stuff!

I’d shrug her off and just tell her it is what it is.

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