Facebook + Etiquette = ????

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Is it rude to send a group reminder message via facebook about RSVP-ing?
    OMG, how RUDE! : (76 votes)
    47 %
    Meh, probably not according to Ms. Manners, but it'll fly. : (65 votes)
    40 %
    Yeah, that's totally fine! : (21 votes)
    13 %
  • Post # 3
    3659 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Don’t send a group message. Either call them on the phone or email them individually. I’d give them some leeway too — having an RSVP deadline seven weeks out is mega-early.

    Post # 4
    52 posts
    Worker bee

    Do it !!! I don’t think it’s rude at all I would be really greatfull actually I am such a forgetful person 🙂 good luck xxx

    Post # 5
    2460 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2013

    I see nothing wrong with that at all. I’m sure old fashioned etiquette would say otherwise but I think it’s fine!

    Post # 6
    1093 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Pick up the phone and call them? If you don’t have time for that, you could send an email and BCC everyone

    Post # 7
    757 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I think a lot of people mistakenly see the RSVP date as the “mail-by” date.  I would give it a day or two and see if anything rolls in.  Also, I don’t think a group message would be appropriate because when someone replies- it’s sent to everyone and everyone sees it.  Someone might reply with something going on in their life that they might not want everyone knowing.

    Post # 8
    11772 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I would definitely call/e-mail individually

    Post # 9
    450 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Individually contacting is the way to go. Like PP mentioned, in a group message the response goes to everyone. 

    Post # 10
    6948 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    @castaway83:  I hate group messages. Everytime someone replies I get a notification. So annoying. Just message them individually or call.

    Post # 11
    2690 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I tracked down all my rsvp’s a day early to save on headache.  I don’t see anything wrong with it.  but you could give them a couple of days and then call them if you have their numbers as well.

    Post # 12
    6446 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    You’re choices are a little extreme. I don’t think it’s rude to do a group message, however, I personally wouldn’t do it. Others mention that you get a notification everytime someone responds, but you can opt out of group messages so I don’t think that’s really a problem. I would just copy paste your message over and over and send it individually or better yet call (as they will have to give you an answer on the spot if they pick up).

    Give them a couple of days though. We had a flood of them 2 days after because people mailed them on the due date.

    Post # 13
    1242 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    @castaway83:  I would be incredibly offended to get a group facebook message.

    Post # 14
    6959 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    I would wait at least a week if today was the due date. I’m sure you’ll get more trickling in. I would call everyone or at least email them individually. Facebook just seems inappropriate to me.


    Post # 15
    3217 posts
    Sugar bee

    @castaway83:  Unfortunately, this is the result when you try to force people oustide of what is socially acceptable.  People are probably thinking your event is still quite far away (in RSVP land) and it’s not on their radar.

    That being said, you should never point out other people’s faux pas’ in a group situation.  Follow up with each person individually. 

    Post # 16
    334 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I got a group message a week before the RSVP date, and then 1 day before the RSVP date from someone for not responding. I was really annoyed. I hadn’t forgotten the RSVP, and got a notification whenever someone sent a message. On top of it all, I wasn’t even late in sending the RSVP back. They got my RSVP card the day before the due date (but after sending the FB message).

    Needless to say it was annoying. Even though you’re not doing it before the deadline, just reach out to people individually.

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