Post # 1
- Wedding: August 2015 - Alexander Homestead
My SO and I are very open about marriage, wedding planning, and being engaged. We already have a wedding date planned and he has stated that he will propose anytime between now and June 2014. One topic we have discussed off an on is how we should inform our friends. Phone calls to immediate family first is a given and then calls to closest friends whom we plan to be a part of our big day. But as for the rest, I am really tempted not to put it on FB at all AND to ask that those that I share it with to PLEASE not post it on my page.
I have thought that it might be better to change my status so that I can let the world know in one fell swoop but I don’t want to get bombarded with the phony congratulations, probing questions, self-invitations to the wedding, etc.
Help me decide how to approach this bees. I am sure that even if I ask friends not to post they may do it anyway and then I get all the questions posted on my wall about “Congratulations about what?” or “Is it true that you are engaged? Why didn’t you tell me??”, and so on. Even thought of changing settings for a while where no one can post directly on my wall but then I am sure I’ll get flooded with inbox messages and I just honestly want peace and quiet.
Post # 3
@ComputerLove06: I told my immediate family and closest friends first. About a day or so after that, I posted it on facebook for others to see. You don’t want close family to find out via computer – its a little disrespectful.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
@destinwed: +1. I basically told all of the most important people via phone or in person. Then I just changed my relationship status from ‘In a Relationship’ to ‘Engaged’. I didn’t even need to post anything, lol.
Post # 5
We went public pretty quickly with it (after the parents and closest friends were told, of course!) but we also said that we were having a long engagement so no plans were being made at the time.
So, when probed with questions about dates, locations, and guest lists, we were able to say we weren’t sure yet/didn’t know yet/hadn’t decided yet/etc and it was completely and totally honest.
After that, all wedding talk was OFF facebook since our entire friends lists was not invted.
Post # 6
@ComputerLove06: People who are close to you should hear the news directly from you, first. They will be hurt otherwise. Everyone else can hear it through Facebook.
Post # 7
I told the important people (close friends and family) and then changed my status. Got lots of likes and comments to that updated but that’s about it. For the most part the only people that asked details or did more that a quick comment were people I am closer with, people that I’d actually like to talk about it with.
Post # 8
@ComputerLove06: Do what you feel is best.
We got engaged yesterday (!!!!!!) and we called or texted our family members first – I say text because my sisters and FBIL were up late at a wedding the night before and I didn’t want to wake them up. I also sent emails to my Uncles on the other side of the country. I did make sure to wait until I had heard back from everyone who has a facebook before we did anything there though. All we did was change our status ; people still went crazy though, but that might have been because we’ve been together 6 years.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
DH proposed on a Friday night. We told our immediate family/closest friends on Saturday, and on Sunday I finished up the “VIP” calls. I had a list about about 20 people whom I knew would be a little hurt if they found out on FB vs a call.
We told those who were active on FB (like his Mom) *not* to post anything until we did (Monday or Tuesday), and everyone respected that.
And… I didn’t put anything else about the wedding on FB again until the morning of.
Post # 10
@ComputerLove06: I think it depends.
In our case, OH and told a lot of people he was going to propose; so, my family knew, his family knew, and a few of his friends and colleagues knew :-s They were all itching to know how it went (texting him asking if he’d done it yet etc), and we were worried someone might post something on Facebook before we did; and as we were abroad, it was impossible to tell people face-to-face (which I’d like to have done).
So, we called my parents the following morning (he proposed at about 2am), and texted our closest friends with the news. We then changed our relationship status on Facebook and posted a short status update to let everyone else know.
I wanted us to be the ones to announce it, and didn’t want to risk one of my friends saying ‘congrats!’ on FB and it being announced that way, if that makes sense.
Post # 11
We called our immediate families, close friends or saw some close friends in person and told them. We gave our parents permission to spread the word to their siblings. And then about a week later we posted it on FB, simply by changing our relationship status and including a picture of us from a few days after our engagement. We did, however, ask friends and family not to put anything on FB until we made it public, and it worked out well.
Post # 12
Maybe I am a little more old fashioned but, I think anouncing something as big as this over facebook is a little tacky…I associate facebook with when I was in college and people used it to announce keg parties. I know times are changing and people other than college students are now on facebook but it still has that connotation fo rme. Also, how many people on your facebook “friends” list are your actual friends?
Post # 13
FWIW, all I got when I posted it on FB was congratulations. No one invited themselves. No one asked details. They just said yay!! and congrats!!!
Post # 14
@ComputerLove06: I called or texted the most important people and a couple days later, after we were sure that our families and closest friends knew, we made it facebook official. I am not posting anything wedding related on my FB staus (okay, I did post that I bought the dress). But I’m refraining as much as possible. I’m also removing posts on my wall relating to wedding details. Most of my FB won’t be invited, but many of them are still important to me. Besides, what makes you feel better than getting 100 people telling you congratulations, chances are most of them mean it, even if you are only acquantences!
Post # 15
I too didn’t want to deal with a bunch of comments from Facebook-grade friends when we got engaged, but I wanted my status to be accurate. I don’t know if it’s still possible, but what I ended up doing was changing my relationship status and then immediately deleting the notification it created for people’s news feeds. It worked like a charm, only one person noticed before I had time to delete. Some others who weren’t told about it and didn’t catch the notification noticed months and months down the road that my status was different now. I’d say it was the best for me, since I just wanted to avoid all that gratuitous attention as much as possible.
Post # 16
We got engaged on the last day of a long vacation so we waited until we got home before we told anyone. Actually, I think we waited about 2 days before we told my immediate family/close friends. We didn’t change our fb statuses until about 3 weeks later.