Post # 1
Hey – quick question and poll for the hive:
First heres the situation:
i have a friend that recently got engaged. (side note, there are some folks who think she shouldnt get married right now especially to the specific guy due to issues that they have emotionally) while most folks are happy for her, she keeps posting statuses about her upcoming wedding on facebook. Often it seems like shes soliciting attention. some are like “just booked our venue” or “who wants to go dress shopping with me??” part of me wouldnt care and would just overlook the posts, but seriously every single day theres new posts about the wedding. and then there was the “im getting married” status, which was weeks after she was proposed to.. um we already know.
Shes also posted her wedding website and all the details on FB. im wondering if i should let her know that since she is having a small event, she should probably refrain from posting things on FB about the wedding because A)its rude to talk about an event in front of people you arent inviting (and since shes not inviting her 900 FB friends…) and B)no one cares about your weddign like you do – people are annoyed with the statuses and kind of see them as a grab for attention.
I am really thinking of posting something in my blog about it since i know she reads my blog – nothing mean or directed at her just a general ettiqute post and how it helped to stick to the rules during my wedding planning to get her to realize shes hurting feelings and making people gag as well.
soooo… what would you do?
feel free to ask questions because i know that was a long explaination and im at a loss on how to approach this….
Post # 3
Honestly, she’ll probably get angry/upset if you mention it to her. I think you should just block her updates.
Post # 4
Hmm, I think a blog post might be a tad bit passive aggressive. Maybe if you really want to say something it would be better to address it directly. Something not accusatory, but just along the lines of how your own experiences led you to realize that it can hurt peoples’ feelings not to be invited, but hearing all about it online.
I will say that I posted when we signed for our venue. I think small things, once in awhile, aren’t a big deal.
Post # 5
Personally, I don’t really understand why so many people get so upset over other people’s status updates on facebook. Do I do it personally? No. But I don’t really care about the people that do, I just don’t read them. She’s obviously excited enough to be posting on facebook about it constantly, why would you want to ruin her excitement? I don’t think you should post anything about it on your blog, personally I think that’s really rude. If you’re close enough with this girl that you think you should give input on what she puts on the internet, at least have a 1 on 1 conversation with her, don’t post it on the internet.
Post # 6
I think if you write something on your blog it will almost certainly appear rude and mean-spirited. We all know our weddings are important only to us, but it’s probably true that most of us have at one time or another talked/posted/emailed/etc. about our wedding a bit too much without realising.
It’s probably best to just hide her from your news feed so that you don’t have to be faced with the incessant posting, without doing anything else that might cause a rift between the two of you.
Post # 7
Let her do what she wants….its her day. I put things on FB about my wedding and i have 250 Facebook friends from school and growing up who weren’t invited and they love making comments and getting excited for me. Sorry, i don’t think its really your business….block her if you don’t want to hear about it.
Post # 8
i agree with kanebaby, i don’t post something every day but i have posted stuff when excited.. such as when i found my shoes and about going to running of the brides, and when i found a salon, and stuff like that…if you’re offended by them then i personally would just block or not read them.
Post # 9
@lilyfaith: i know thats why im on the fence about the blog post – but like @beekiss2: said, im afraid if i actually talk to her directly she will get pissed off.
@MandaMack: its less about posting stuff on facebook – but more about the tone and the reasoning behind posting it. from the tone of the statuses it just seems that half the time shes trying to get attention not those “eeeee im getting married!” statuses that most newly engaged folks have.
i mean we have all posted stuff on our FB about wedding happenings, but i knew that it was kinda annoying to a)people that are single and depressed about it b)people that arent invited c)people who are going thru divorces (all of which she has several friends who she talks to daily who are goin thru these things) – hence why i kept my postings to a bare minimum.
and also the individual i am talking about its somewhat of an attention wh*re, so its not a surprise shes doin this, nor is subtlety one of her strong points.
Post # 10
Personally, I would just block her updates like PPs above suggested. She’s probably just excited, I mean, it is her wedding after all! I don’t like when people can’t/don’t discuss issues they have with me personally. Most of the time I honestly don’t know that I am annoying someone, but I really respect people when they discuss issues with me like an adult. If I saw something about me in one of my friends blogs, I would be slightly hurt and I would lose a little respect for that friend, because I would feel that they were talking about me behind my back instead of just mentioning it to me directly. That’s just ME though…
Post # 11
You should ignore and say nothing. Honestly, there are many things in life that could potentially hurt someone’s feelings and if we all took every single little thing into account life would suck. I personally wouldn’t be Facebooking so many wedding details, but if she wants to just let her. It is a once in a lifetime deal, and her posting sound harmless to me. Definitely let it go.
Post # 12
It depends on how close you are to her. If she’s a good friend like you are asked to be a BM, then I would gently say something to her about the status updates possibly hurting some feelings since not everyone is invited. If she’s not that great a friend, I would just delete her updates from your news feed.
Post # 13
@spaganya: On Sunday I made my FB status “11 months to go! I hope they go as fast as the last one did!” Does that mean I’m looking for attention??? She’s excited. We all sit on weddingbee talking about nothing but weddings because we’re excited. Why is that a crime? Just because she has friends who are going through divorces doesn’t mean she can’t be happy that she’s getting married. And how can you tell the “tone” in a facebook status?
Post # 14
I would just hide her from your news feed. You don’t have to hear about it and she can keep on writing whatever she wants as her facebook status. It’s a win-win!
Post # 15
Facebook statuses can get pretty annoying, but there aren’t any established ‘rules’ about them. Yes, she shouldn’t be talking about the wedding in front of people who aren’t invited, but it’s not like all 900 of her friends will care or expect to be invited.
Just hide her and move on :).
Post # 16
Just ignore it; she’ll dig her own hole.