(Closed) Facing Disapproval

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
8975 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

My husband I started dating in March, he proposed in October and we were married in December.

Remind them that every relationship moves to the beat of a different drum. This is what works for you.

Post # 5
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

They don’t sound like true friends. I am friends with a girl who met someone, started dating him a week later, moved in with him a month after that, and got engaged 2 months later. I personally don’t think they will last, but it’s their decision, and I would NEVER tell her my opinion, out of respect for her. 

I’m glad your family is supportive; you can’t change your family, but hopefully you will meet new people that will become better friends to you than the ones you have now. I’m sorry you’re hurt, but the strength of your relationship will speak for itself.

Post # 7
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If friends act like that about happy things in your life, they aren’t your friends. If they have concerns, there are positive, caring ways to express them. My husband and I haven’t been together a year and we’ve been married four months and are expecting a baby (that we’ve been trying for). I’ve known him for three years and sometimes you just move quickly in relationships. You have to make sure you’re making the right decision and have thought through many things, but ultimately it’s impossible to prepare for your entire life…you just have to find someone who you know will stick it through and whom you trust to share the same values and work toward happiness. 

If your friends aren’t supportive, they aren’t your friends.

Post # 8
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have a similar story.  I had known my DH for 10 years when we finally started dating and we were engaged after 3 months.  My family loved it, some friends not so much.  Even his own sister would make jabs about us getting engaged and how he did it, etc.  Surround yourself with people who are truly happy for you and don’t let them bring you down right now.  This is a happy time 🙂

Post # 9
Member
7318 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

Is there something your friends know that you are not telling us? Honestly, if my friends were expressing this type of negativity, I’d have to ask myself why and if they are seeing something that I have chosen to overlook?

Post # 10
Member
2843 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We met in Aug/Sep 2011, first date Oct 23, 2011, engaged March 18, 2012, and then married on Oct 20, 2012.  Family and close friends were supportive.  But I did get some snide remarks about moving too fast from others.  But when you know, you know!

Post # 11
Member
5983 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Yuck…I hate when people who advertise that they care about you, turn out to be super snarky, no good mouthy Mary’s when it comes time to pony up and be happy for you…next time someone wishes you good luck because they think you’ll need it…wish them the same luck with getting that stick out of their ass….

Post # 12
Member
10369 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

My advice is to understand that people are saying this because the statistics are not in your favor, and are just not wording their hesitation in a constructive way. If you are truly secure in your decision, then it shouldn’t matter. But to say “I’m engaged after a few months and I just don’t understand why people have expressed doubts about how fast we’re moving” is pretty naive and unrealistic.

Post # 13
Member
7498 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

FI and I got engaged 6 months after we met, and will be married 10 months after we first met. My family and friends are supportive, although I think some people think we’re crazy. Your relationship is nobody else’s business, and they can’t feel how you feel or know what you know. Your friends should not be rooting for you to fail.

Post # 15
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would ask a few of them point-blank why they think you are destined to fail. They may have nothing useful to share, but they may also know a side of him, or seen a change in you, that you’re not seeing.  If it were just one or two friends, I’d chalk that up to jealousy and move on, but when the entire social circle feels the same way about a person, I’d be inclined to ask why.

Post # 16
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Why do your friends disapprove? They might be 100% in the wrong. Or they might have a valid point that you don’t want to see/admit to. I would consider WHY they feel the way they do. If it isn’t a valid reason, cut them from your life.

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