- 6 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
I’ll tell the story in bullet points to keep it short and sweet –
-P and I met almost 2 years ago and became fast friends
-I knew she had some “quirks”, but it wasn’t anything I thought would be a big deal
-P’s husband and my Mr also became fast friends
-P got preggers
-I asked P to be a bridesmaid and at the time she was very excited about it
-P had a difficult pregnancy and her behavior started to be… uncomfortable. I don’t want to get in to any details, but it took a lot of patience and deep breaths to continue to be supportive – and that goes for me and all of our mutual friends
-I am a pretty laid back person. I kept repeating to myself that this would get better once the baby was born
-Now on top of her behavior, there are also some parenting “decisions” being made that make me very uncomfortable, but its not my place to have input. I tried the whole “smile and nod” thing at first, but I couldn’t do it anymore.
-We haven’t spoken in over a month. And then her husband did something extremely rude/awkward while hanging out with my Mr, so they haven’t been hanging out lately either
-I think at this point she is not in the state of mind to even want to be a bridesmaid, but probably doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. On the flip side, I am uncomfortable around her because of certain things, but I still think she is a good person and I don’t want to hurt her feelings either. Don’t get me wrong, Im not angry at her or upset with her, and I understand that we all handle difficult situations in different ways – I wish nothing but the best for her, but I think we’ve reached a mutual parting of the ways – and I’m just not sure how best to address it.
– We could continue as we have lately – which is not talking – and it could end up being assumed, or I could bring it up with her husband and ask him how to handle it (I honestly think she is too unstable for me to bring up anything potentially confrontational with her right now). There’s no rush – I could certainly wait and see, but I don’t know if that would just end up making it worse. I would just suck it up, I totally could – but the problem is I don’t think she can/wants to be a bridemaid. I’m feeling worried and sad for her but also frustrated that there’s nothing I can say or do about it.
– Any gentle wording you can think of or even just a similar experience and how it was handled/went over would be super helpful. Thanks girls.