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Most of my lawyer friends failed the bar the first time out, you will get it next time.
First of all I'm sorry it did not go as you had planned. How long before you can take the bar again? Is this going to significantly effect the budget you had planned on for your wedding?
Awww I'm sorry. That really really sucks! Keep studying hard, try try again right? Just don't lose focus now! Think how far you've made it, I never could have done what you're doing!!!
Stay positive! You will pass the next time because failing the Bar is very common. Your small wedding budget means more DIY which means a more personal wedding! I love weddings were you can see the couple in the details.
Hang in there! At least you'll be able to take the time to enjoy wedding planning. I know it's stressful, but I'm sure you'll kill it next time. If you've already finished law school, I know you're smart enough! Keep your head held high.
@MsBrooklynA: The bar is offered in February and July.
I had to take an exam to be allowed to work as an EMT in my province. It is a weekend exam of a written exam one day, and 2 practical exams the next day, and the 3rd day is if you fail a practical the day before so you can redo it. I know it's not the same as the bar, but I don't want you to think I don't know what you're going through!
So FI (then-boyfriend) and I drove up to the test (6 hour drive), and I was crazy grumpy and stressed. I ended up failing one of the practicals, so we had to stay til the third day. We ended up going to a movie, to the zoo, and just spending time together, and I actually appreciate having that extra day with him. I don't think of the fact that I failed anymore, because I ended up passing, and that time is over.
Point of my story...5 or 10 years from now, your failing isn't going to be such a huge deal because you will have passed, and gotten a job, and you'll be married to your FI!
Try to enjoy the little things in planning and make time to push aside studying and enjoy time with your FI. Lots of people are planning weddings on small budgets (including me, as I have not found an EMT job as planned, so am currently working somewhere else, for less money). Not ideal, but it's in no way impossible.
Oh that sucks! Hey, for what it is worth, I worked at a law firm for 3 years and in that time about 1/2 the entering class always failed the first time out. Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Penn, didn't matter. A lot of times it had to do with the fact that 3rd year classes were mostly about writing assignments and not exams so the exam taking skills kind got lost.
I know it sucks, especially since the test itself is such a daunting and frustrating process, but chin up.
I know this is not going to be popular advice on a wedding board, but I would consider shelving wedding planning till you take the next bar. Throw yourself into studying.
Did you feel like you were doing okay when you were taking the bar? Is there any place you could take a bar review course?
I'm a lawyer. You WILL pass the next time! The bar is a VERY hard exam, so don't get down on yourself.
Feel free to pm me for tips etc... I have a ton of friends who failed and then passed. You'll be fine. Good luck.:)
I'm sorry! I don't know if it's as tough as the CPA exam but I failed that when I took it. I'm sure that you will do great this time, try not to get too down!
:( sorry. are you taking again in feb or july? My best advice is to try to stay calm. I honestly think the reason a lot of people fail is because they psyche themselves out about it all and get overwhelmed. Just take it one subject at a time and try not to think of the volume of stuff you need to know.
Nerves are a huge part of it! Try to manage your anxiety this time around. I got a massage the night in between the 2 days of the bar exam and that was a huge help to my mental state.
Also, I second the PP who said to shelve the wedding planning for awhile so you can devote your full efforts to studying. Can you offload some duties to your FI, mom, MOH, sisters, BMs, anyone?
Look at it this way ... you've taken the test once and can consider it a "practice run" and now you'll know what to expect for when you take it the next time!
And, aren't the statistics something like 60% of the people who take the bar don't pass the first time? And didn't that hottie JFK Jr. take the bar 3 times before passing?
I third the 'shelve the planning' advice, especially if you're taking the Feb test, that will still leave you 3 months after to wrap up wedding details. Many people fail the bar the first time. Just learn from the experience (was it anxiety, needing a different kind of prep work, etc) and make the appropriate changes while you study for the next one. Best of luck!!
Aw, I'm sorry, that totally sucks. Your wedding isn't until June so I'm assuming you're studying for the February bar now? My suggestion to you is this: STOP PLANNING. Take a break from it for the next 2 months. The wedding will still be there when you finish sitting for the bar again. Most, if not all of my friends who didn't pass the first time did not devote 100% of their time to studying. They let themselves get distracted (oftentimes necessary, unfortunately) by outside things and, consequently, did not devote as much time as they needed into studying. When I studied I devoted 8+ hours per day, 6 days a week for two and a half months. No joke. I lived and breathed studying. By the time I sat for the exam I knew I had done everything possible in my power to be prepared. If I didn't pass, it would NOT be from lack of trying, that was for damn sure. Don't study to pass, study for the ability to say the same when it's finally time for the exam. Passing will naturally follow.
First off, I managed to pass the bar last July and I still can't find a legal job, so you are most definitely not alone on that front and the market is so completely demoralizing right now it's unbelievable. I definitely feel you.
I found the key to enjoying wedding planning was to use it as my stress relief for studying. I would use wedding planning to reward myself for staying focused and on task, and my bar review company forced us to take one day off a week, so I often spent that day doing wedding planning stuff or DIY projects. It made the wedding planning feel like more of a treat than a hassle, and it helped me keep a positive attitude. I unsubscribed to Weddingbee and a bunch of other wedding blogs, but at lunchtime after I had done my practice questions in the morning and before I did my substantive review in the afternoon, I'd do a bit of perusal and maybe some blogging. But there was nothing that *had* to be done or get booked - mostly, I would just look at pretty pictures and not think about the bar.
I took the July exam and got married in October, and in August and early September I worked on a campaign that took almost all of my time, so trust me, you will have enough time after the bar to focus on getting things done. Also, the hopeless job market is GREAT for wedding planning. I felt SO LUCKY that I didn't have to work for three weeks before our wedding and got everything done.
Oh, and do a lot of yoga. It really helps with both the wedding and the bar review relaxing and generally will just help you feel more positive.
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I failed the bar exam and now i'm planning a wedding and studying at the same time. I can't afford anything for my wedding and I can't find a legal job. How can i develop a more positive attitude and enjoy my time wedding planning?