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Fairweather family - to invite or not?

posted 7 months ago in Emotional
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    Honey bee
    Ember78    December 15, 2012  

    Is anyone else dealing with this type of situation? Generally, I do not believe in sending obligatory invites to anyone. At the same time, I'm not sure I want to deal with fielding questions about why so-and-so wasn't invited. What makes it difficult is that while some people should be "nearest and dearest", they are not that comfortable to be around since they tend to get very opinionated toward how others behave, which is not the type of vibe that belongs at a wedding which should be a happy event between adults, not jr high kids. Plus no couple should have to choose between guests, especially those who shoot themselves in the foot with rude/hurtful comments (about others who are close to the couple) on an everyday basis, while pretending to like them on other occasions.

    In a perfect world, everyone would behave and get along, and not talk crap about other people they don't like, but that's not the case in reality. Since most people have at least 1 person in thier family like this, how are you dealing with it? Cuttng them from the guestlist entirely, regardless of the questions you may be asked by guests, or are you sending them an invite and silently praying they behave for 8 hrs out of their lives, since talking to them directly does not work?

     
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    Buzzing bee
    secondchances    August 2012   Western MD

    Umm  for me this exact reason is why I went along with the two wedding idea. Get all the nasty people together at once for a small family only event then you have the second larger wedding to really enjoy sans nasty people.

     
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    Angelz_love    June 16, 2012   San Francisco

    I am not sending obligitory invites, and since I made this decision i have been so busy i havn't had time to worry about it. and if it became an issue, I really wouldn't have time to worry about it or notice. i am a woman on a mission to add details to her wedding on hte cheap!

     
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    Ember78    December 15, 2012  

    @secondchances, that's a good compromise. Would you be inviting anyone to both events and if so, how would you explain that away if anyone were to ask?

     
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    bklynbridetobe    December 2011   Brooklyn Born

    @Angelz_love: WORD! Same here. No time for the fake ones.

     
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    Monkeyface    August 20, 2011  

    I'm my personal experience, I bit the bullet and invited my "fairweather family." They all RSVP'd yes and ended up not showing up without even a phone call. I just feel sick having paid for people that I didn't even care for in the first place, I just didn't want family drama. In the end, it wasn't worth it at all. 

     
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    Buzzing bee
    secondchances    August 2012   Western MD

    @Ember78:They are in the bridal party so therefore have to come to both. Like I said the first one will be teeny tiny.

     
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    Newbee
    blissful_beauty    November 7, 2013  

    Gah! I have no advice for you, except that I am struggling with the same thing with my family. I am leaning towards inviting them, but don't really want to...

     

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