Post # 1
I need some input from unbiased people. I got engaged a little over two months ago, and like any girl I was really excited. The ring I recieved was a modest yet very pretty antique ring….My fiance’ told me the next day after some of the excitment died down that the ring was his Grandmothers that had just passed away, and he had it resized, cleaned and reset. Despite the ring being not my taste at all I was very excited to have a family heirloom. Two months had passed and a couple of weeks ago after a night of partying; alcohol playing a big part in his guilt, he told me when he had the ring cleaned and worked on, the jeweler told him the main stone was cubic zurconia…..I was devastated and mortified!!! This ring I had bragged about and gushed about for 2 months was a fake, and he acted like it was no big deal and that “maybe” he shouldnt have told me when we were under the influence but that it still was his grandmas and it should be special. Ever since that night I have had a hard time forgiving him and we’ve done nothing but bicker and it has been kind of a snowball effect for other issues. Should I be mad and what should I do? I am the one who has to wear it and look at it everyday all day. I really want a REAL ring but I don’t know how to go about talking to him about it without beating a dead horse.
Post # 3
I’m sorry this happened. You could always get the main stone switched out for a diamond. That way you’d have the “real thing” and it would still be an heirloom 🙂
Post # 4
yikes, I’d tell him he owes me a diamond!
Post # 5
I don’t think it is a big deal. Your ring is still just as “real” and you are still engaged. If you really want a diamond, you could always get one for yourself. And you said his grandmother’s ring is not your taste, so maybe you could get a whole new set for your wedding ring.
Post # 6
I agree with OttawaBride – you could have the stone switched out for a real diamond that way you would have an heirloom setting but the stone would be new (and perhaps represent the ‘new’ marriage?). I think this is a great way to honor and represent both.
Post # 7
I’m sure the biggest thing that bugs you is that he wasn’t honest from the git-go and let you tell everyone that it was a pretty diamond ring!
Since you don’t love the ring anyways I’d say its a great chance to pick out a new ring together.
Post # 8
Im sorry! I do think its most important that its the sentiment that counts It was his grandmas ring and he wanted you to have it. though I understand you wanting to have a real diamond. It sounds like he didnt even know it was not a diamond until he took it to get it cleaned. I agree with Ottowa that you can switch the main stone and keep the others as is.
Post # 9
I agree that the best solution would be to take out the cz and set it with a real diamond. I’m sorry that happened to you!
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2010 - Catholic Ceremony, Cultural Hall Reception
I kind of disagree. It seems from your post that he didn’t know that the stone was fake when he decided to give it to you. His intentions seemed to be to give you a family heirloom – he found out after making the decision that the stone wasn’t real. I think that this is one of those circumstances where it’s the thought that counts. If the ring is something that means a lot to his family, than I think that him giving it to you is more generous than any diamond.
Now, if he made up the whole grandma’s ring bit, or knew all along that it was a fake, or went on and on about how it was a really valuable diamond, than that’s a different story, of course 😛
If it really bothers you, than ask him to exchange the stone for a real one – but don’t be mad at him about it because it really does seem like an honest mistake 🙂
Post # 11
Hmmm. Something smells a little fishy.
You said it is his grandmother’s ring? I do not know his family situation, of course, so please forgive me if I am making incorrect assumptions.
CZ did not reach gem quality until 1976. It was around before then, but not in a form you would confuse with a reald diamond. 1976 sounds a little recent for an heirloom grandmother ring.
There are all sorts of possibilities: maybe grandmother had to pawn her diamond at some point (no judgment, you gotta watch you gotta do), someone may have stolen her diamond in a previous cleaning, the guy your Fiance just took this to may have switched it out, lots of possibilities here.
What I think I can say, based on my date assumption, is that the CZ is not the heirloom here.
I know it is irrational, but I had a similar situation. I had the opportunity to use an amazing fake sapphire, but just emotionally couldn’t do it. My real sapphire actually isn’t quite as saturated in color, but… couldn’t do it. I understand. Ask for a new set, and cherish the grandmother ring, though maybe some day get her birthstone set in it. That CZ is probably NOT original.
Post # 12
I see how this could leave a bad taste in your mouth if you were telling people something and he knew it wasn’t true. But it seems like he had good intentions. The ring seems like it’s important to him and in the excitement of engagement he probably didn’t know how to bring it up. As for the non-diamond part, I donno, I know you want something else and you should discuss that with him. But I really don’t see how a diamond, CZ, ruby or whatever you choose really has that much bearing on a marriage. People will look more at your interaction as a couple to gauge love than any stone can tell them.
Post # 13
Umm, I think you might want to rethink this whole marriage thing. Is it the “fake” ring that bothers you or is so called “dishonesty”? If it is the “fake” ring, perhaps you’re not ready for the commitment marriage takes. Does it matter if the diamond is “real” or “fake”. It seems to have a lot of sentimental value and that should be what matters.
If you really have your heart set on a “real” diamond; as someone suggested above, you should go purchase the “real” diamond and have it set in the heirloom ring. Sorry you’re so upset, but I think you’re making a big deal out of something that should not be such a big deal. Unless you’re angry because he withheld the truth and had you running around bragging about it.
Post # 14
This is just me stating my opinion, but did it affect the way you feel about him at all? Are you upset because the ring is fake, or the fact that he didn’t tell you about it? Josh and I have decided to get a Tacori, but the center stone is going to be a Miadonna hybrid radiant stone. I have seen rave reviews on it, and there is a lifetime guarantee, and it has d-f in color, excellent cut, and the clarity is anywhere from IF to VS1. I mean, yes, it isn’t the real deal, but it is what we can afford. I don’t think there is anything wrong with a fake, as long as it comes from the heart, not the pocketbook. How I see it, if his heart was in the right place, then everything else will just fall into place, you know? But he should have told you as soon as he found out, keeping secrets is never good for anyone. Or maybe he didn’t know how to tell you, because both of you were caught up in the heat of the moment, and being engaged is exciting news. He couldn’t bare to have you upset, so maybe that is why he waited. It shouldn’t matter, it is the love and commitment behind the engagement, not the stone. We should all be so lucky to even get the opportunity be spend the rest of our lives with our soulmates!
Post # 15
I think you should have a long discussion with your Fiance to hash out your feelings. I don’t think the CZ vs diamond is the real issue here. These days, you can get engaged with a piece of string tied around your finger, or with nothing at all. It’s not the ring that is the biggest issue IMO.
Post # 16
You are engaged! You should be happy, not upset over the ring being a fake. It is such a special thing to have a family heirloom. This man loves you so much he wants to marry you. I would not get upset at him at all. If it bothers you that much ask him to get a diamond to replace it.