- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
This could truly be a long, drawn out story – but I will keep it short and sweet b/c I read somewhere that a person’s attention span only lasts for 30 seconds or something.
The synopsis on 28 years: My father’s side of the family (he has 3 brothers, 1 sister and they have a bunch of kids which equal lots of cousins) is the type of family that tell you how much they love and miss you to your face, but never reach out to call/Facebook/email. I was the first divorced child of the family if you will (my ‘rents divorced when I was 5) and I moved a few hours away from where they all kind of lived, my dad was in the Navy and moved out of state, remarried, and had 2 boys. I was always kind of an outcast – the other cousins knew eachother pretty well, but because of distance (and divorce) I wasn’t around them as often. I’ve always been a bit resentful of the fact that they never reached out when i was a child. I always feel super uncomfortable at major family events with them, b/c here are these people that I’ve essentially known all of my life telling me how much they love me (and visa versa) but I didn’t really know them. It was seemingly all for show.
I’ve been invited to all of their weddings (well, the ones who have gotten married so far), but as I’ve gotten older, my resentments toward them hasn’t realy gone away – they are just so hypocritical to me. I have tried numerous times to reach out to them via phone, in person, and most recently (due to circumstance and convenience), Facebook – where I hardly get a response. They all comment and like eachother’s accomplishments and such, yet when I announced my engagement I received nothing – as immature and trivial as it sounds, i never received one “like” on my status change, no comments, messages, or phone calls. While I’ve always seemed to reach out to them, they never seem to do the same. I think they are expecting to be invited to my wedding, but they are a LARGE number of people that I frankly don’t feel compelled to invite, other than for the reason that they’ve invited me to their weddings. Again, a lot of facts have been cut out of this little post, but I will say that I am working diligently on letting go of the past and resentments that I’ve built against certain people since I was a kid. But I still can’t shake the fact that I feel uncomfortable with them, and also kind of hurt that they just seem to ignore me – plain and simple.
What would you ladies do? Invite or no invite? Right now, with them on it, my guest list is at 225 which is fine but this isn’t about numbers – it’s about now being able to make a decision on what I should do. Should I invite them out of respect for my dad (who I’m currently not speaking to and have never been very close with); or should I follow my heart and only invite people who show a genuine interest in my happiness?
Thanks for any advice in advance ladies 🙂 If anyone would like more details before giving me advice, just private message me. 🙂