(Closed) Fall out with best friend

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Have you spent enough time with this woman to really honestly feel that he is making a mistake?  How are you sure that she isn’t the ‘one’ for him? I understand your concerns, and that you don’t want to see your friend hurt (again), but maybe this woman is different??

 

Post # 4
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I also understand your concerns; however, if he really is your BF, then I think you should just let him do what makes him happy. This lady could be “the one”, and she can probably still get pregnant, so if he wants children sired by him, then he can still have that. Just because she is older and is proud to be a “cougar” doesn’t mean she is a bad person. He can still have a family of his own. Lots of people are in relationships that have children from previous relationships and are very happy. I think you should give them a chance and try not to worry about it. Guys get married everyday to women that are much younger than them and no one bats an eye.

Post # 5
Member
879 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My FI is 13 years older then me, and we don’t feel the age difference at all.  I think he is very young for his age actually, when I met him I thought he was about 10 years younger then what he actually is.  I put it down to the playboy lifestyle he used to love leading 🙂

As for your friend, I can see that your concerns come out of your caring for him and not wanting to see him crushed. I would tell him that, and make an effort to get to know her and see how they truely are together.

And as for the Cougar comments, well I always say that I love being a Kitten and love having a sugar daddy.  But while I say it in jest, I don’t actually believe it and its not at all true that he is my sugar daddy.  Its just a bit of fun.  Others have been harsh and judgemental about my relationship with my FI, and you know what, I let it get to me at first.  But now I don’t care, he is an awesome father, he is an awesome partner, he treats me so well and is very domesticated (which is more then I can say about a few of my exs who were my age). 

I even had a woman that has known me since I was young call me whilst I was in hospital after just having giving birth to my first child.  I was trying to learn to breast feed, our daughter wasn’t even 6 hours old, and this old biddy was telling me I was throwing my life away, that he was no good and would never support me or the child.  I was so pissed off with her at the time, I just told her that I didn’t have the time and hung up (and we haven’t really spoken since).  And everything she said is so wrong.  Which goes to show that people outside the relationship really have no idea what it is like inside the relationship.  My FI is my family, my rock and my best friend.  I am closer to him, and this feeling of just knowing him and him knowing me.  And it is a connection I have not had with anyone else before at this level. 

And the Cougar phenomenon seems to be everywhere right now.  Maybe some people have made comments about their relationship that have been hurtful, so she is tapping into the Cougar idea as a way of lightening the situation and turning it around into a joke.  People deal with critisim in different ways.

And just because she has kids shouldnt change anything in their relationship, especially when he wants a family.  My Aunt got married for the second time, she had 4 kids, he had 1.  She was 46 at the time, and they had another child together. They are a close family and each others kids call them Mum and Dad.

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