Post # 1
So I got a call from my grandmother today saying that she wants her sister’s grandaughter and a guest to be invited to the wedding. It must be said my grandmother and I are not close and that I have never met this person she wants to invite. This just struck a nerve and felt like it was the last straw. I ended up venting to my mother and having my first ever wedding freak out.
Are there any bees out there that feel with the wedding planning like they’re Alice in Wonderland falling down the rabbit hole?
When this whole planning process started I knew that weddings were about families coming together but through the past months I feel like with everyone around me’s needs and wants I have somehow lost hold of the fact that this wedding is first about my fiancee and I, and then about our families. If you would have asked me a year ago to picture my wedding I would have described something with the beach, outside and in front of a small group of close family and friends. Now standing here less then five months before the wedding the reality is totally different. I am not catholic and he is, so I am converting so we can get married in the catholic church. We have big families and to accomodate everyone the guest list is now at 214 people. I know that on that day the size of the guest list will not matter and where I say “I do” whether on a beach or at an alter the sentimate is the same but I still can’t help feeling like this wedding has turned into an uncontrollable whirlwind.
Any thoughts or similar feelings?
Post # 3
yes! It’s a neverending list of requirements to make everyone else happy it feels like sometimes! I feel it too! We went from a list of 135 to 165 now to 194 when we sent out our invites 3 weeks ago! We had a lot of push back and most of it was from people who couldn’t understand why their new Boyfriend or Best Friend or their kid wasn’t invited. (we are having no kids under 16 , that would have increased our number to 230!) Sorry…you can’t please everyone.
My wise married bridesmaid gave me a good piece of advice. When it comes to the guest list- don’t invite anyone that you dont’ want to look back at 10 years from now and say “why did we invite that person to the most important day of our lives?” If I were you and you aren’t that close to Gram, i’d tell her no…
Post # 4
Ugh yes. And sometimes it requires just putting down your foot. Our guest list was spiraling out of control with people being invited by FI’s parents who we had never met. But we just said enough, and made everyone realize that while yes, there may be some people close to them that aren’ts invited, they’re not close to Fiance or me, and ultimately, it was a day about us. Thankfully my parents understood this…. This has been the worst part of wedding planning to me, deciding who can and can’t come.
Post # 5
I totally know how you feel. When I was planning, my mother and I got into several fights. I wanted a small wedding, she wanted to invite 150 people. I refused to budge, she refused to budge and finally my brother got involved and told my mom that it was my wedding and she needed to respect that. In the end, I got my small wedding.You really have to put your foot down. It’s worth the drama, I promise.
Seriously, how much money have you laid out on this already? What about the option of canceling and eloping with a few people? Or if you can’t, have you sent out invites? If your wedding isn’t until August, there’s still time for you to have the wedding you want. Before you send invites/STDs, there is always time to trim the guest list.