(Closed) Family Backed Out of Paying 54 days from my wedding day

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@born2teachuga:  This is just my opinion, but I don’t think that anyone should ever expect other people to pay for their weddings.  If you are old enough to get married you are old enough to pay for it.  And, when someone does contribute financially for better or worse it does give them a say in what happens. 

Frankly, I think that you just need to pull away from all of this and have a small, drama-free wedding that you can afford on your own.  No, it may not be a fairytale day, but the morning after you will be just as married as you would have been had you splurged with your money and everyone else’s. 

Tell your mom your sorry that there has been some miscommunication when it comes to money, thank your in-laws for their offers to help, and sit down with your fiance and figure out how you can have a simple, affordable, and special day on your own. 

Post # 4
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@BuBuBubbles:  +1 on the pull back and drama free wedding plan.

It seems like your mom mislead you and now has left you high and dry and I’m sorry your in this situation. I don’t even know what I would do.

Post # 5
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@BuBuBubbles:  it doesn’t sound like she expected it, but that her mom offered to help then changed her mind 🙁

@born2teachuga:  I think you need to take back control of your wedding, cut costs where you can, borrow money from your inlaws if you must, and I think you need to have a serious convo with your mom. I wonder if she’s just doing this to piss you off since you won’t play her song but really intends to pay

Post # 6
Member
2254 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@born2teachuga: I’m sorry you’re going through this, but at this point if you can’t come up with the remaining amount is there any way you can simply cut back on the wedding to afford this wedding on your own? 

Post # 7
Member
11273 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@born2teachuga:  unless the money is in your hand, i would never rely on anyone to pay for any part of the wedding.  this seems to happen all of the time.

it’s time to sit down and go through the budget and see where you can cut.  what have you booked, what can you cancel or scale back on?  i’m sure the invites are out now so cutting back on the guest list is impossible.  the other option is to postpone your honeymoon if that is not already booked.

take control of the finances.  talk to your mother and fmil and see how much they are truly contributing.  whatever they agree to, have them write you a cheque now and so that the money is in the wedding account.  you can then ensure that the vendors are paid and manage the budget yourself.

Post # 9
Member
6124 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@born2teachuga:  OK – cutting your parents his and parents out of it completely RIGHT NOW – as in do not ask them for any more input or advice, to tag along on an errand or anything – what are your money options right now? 

Do you have savings? 

Do you have something you can sell?

 

You’re getting suffocated in these little squabbles, inconsistencies, but you need to look at the big pciture on what you and your FI ALONE can do to create a plan from here on out.  Focus on that, not the other details.  You just may have to do without certain things (like hiring a decorator!).

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