Family being unfair or am I just wedding-stressed?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Sorry but your sister sounds like a b!Tch! Id be cannonballing her to the curb and having your bf as the moh.

Doesnt sound like nerves, sounds like youre being sensible and levelheaded and having to deal with a few idiots.

i have a painful sister who i havent spoken to in nearly 3 years. Can choose your friends But not family….

Post # 4
Member
5932 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@amyinbrisbane:  I honestly don’t see a connection between your sister (MOH) offering to do anything and your pregnant BM who is all to happy to accommidate you in whatever way she can or how any of that coincides with a misunderstood invite, where she invited you to dinner…but not your FI and we all melt down to a clandestine conversation with your Dad about centerpieces and his alleged tight wad status….

Either way, you are allowed to feel any way you feel, and being overwhelmed before a wedding is totally understandable….this is all a case of biting off more than you could chew and learning the lesson a lot of brides end up finding out the hard way:

When it comes to weddings, you’re going to get a lot of offers for help and assistance and company, but when the rubber hits the road, no one cares about this day as much as you do, so the ones that follow through are few and far between.

Take a big step back, turn off your cell phone and delcare a Wedding Free Zone in your house for a day and get back to doing things that aren’t about centerpieces or favors or fittings…watch some scary movies, eat fondue, get some new nail polish and try out that bubble bath collecting dust on the shelf…you need a break lady!

Post # 5
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@amyinbrisbane:  I don’t get it. Are you incapable of having a meal with your family without your fiance ONCE? You blew that completely out of proportion. Tell your fiance you’re going to your sister’s house to have dinner with your parents and you’ll be back later.

Your pregnant bridesmaid is more invested in your wedding than your sister is. I don’t see the problem. So long as your sister shows up wearing whatever you’ve asked, she’s done her job.

I’m going to call this wedding stress and you need a weekend to do nothing but go to a spa, get a massage and NOT do anything wedding related.

Post # 6
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@DJones69:  I disagree with this, as her future husband, her fiancé IS her family now and should have been included. My fiancé is my family and I wouldn’t attend family functions if he wasn’t invited. Her sister was beyond rude. I would have declined the invite. 

Post # 7
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@amyinbrisbane:  I just think you’re a bride who feels like other people should be ask concerned with you big day as you are, and that unfortunately will never be the reality of life.

I don’t think you are being a bridezilla, but I do think your stress is seeing things through red colored lenses.

If you want your sisters help, don’t expect her to come to you (not that it wouldn’t be nice). Ask her directly.

As for the food, I doubt she would have done it if their were a way around it, but if he hadn’t cooked enough food, what was she supposed to do? Idk, my family is pretty relaxed though, so this wouldn’t really be that big of a deal to any of us.

I think you need a pedicure and a glass of wine 🙂 (then again, so do I! I’m 2 weeks out!)

Post # 8
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

sorry if my comments are out of whack with the others but my own experiences with my sister may have me in coloured lenses.

ive seen too many times family members given roles at weddings simply because its the right thing to do, and those who do care and put in the time to help make the day special are shunned by the one/s with the higher position in the party.

as for the dinner, i guess our families are too laid back as well? They would never not expect both of us and if there was an issue of not enough food it just wouldnt be an issue – a solution would be found.

though my SIL is a pain in a similar way…she forgets that most times my SO and i are joined at the hip with our kidlets in tow, we work together and play together….but thats a whole other kettle of fish…jealousy is a curse 🙁 I wont get started on her and life on the farm and roles on the farm and the rest of the dramas we all have with her!!!

Post # 9
Member
855 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

@TattedNYBride:  Sorry, but he becomes family when they get married. Fiance isn’t a legal term and even by your standard… she can’t go to dinner without her husband EVER? Do you plan to do EVERYTHING with your husband? Don’t answer that.

Post # 10
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Any chance that your sis just thought your FH would feel like a fifth wheel at your family dinner and that’s why she didn’t expect him to come?

Post # 11
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@DJones69:  maybe that’s how you view it, but as far as I’m concerned, my fiancé is my family, and if you let a piece of paper define that for you, that’s your choice. We live together, share a life together, and I expect invitations, especially from family, to include both of us. Luckily, both of our families feel the same way and we include each other in everything as family. 

Post # 12
Member
842 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@DJones69:  obviously if it’s a night with girlfriends or just the guys, that’s different. But for anything else, we’re a unit and yes, we do things together. 

Post # 13
Member
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

I don’t think you are overracting at all, you have valid points and who isnt trying to save where they can? Weddings are a fortune! your budget can only stretch so far. Your sisters response was quite rude, you are engaged to be married not bringing home a new boyfriend.

Post # 14
Member
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@amyinbrisbane:  Please don’t take what I say the wrong way. This is YOUR wedding. It is great that your BM has been so helpful while pregnant, but just be grateful (and I know you are) for whatever extra help you get. Your sister is not required to help, but it would be nice! And I understand 100 % because my sister has not been helpful LoL. 

As for the dinner at your sister’s house, that is just plain rude and tacky. I disagree with DJones. It is completely out of line to think that her sister’s FH would not be coming to dinner, like the other Bee said, her FI is her family now. 

It is not wedding stress related, you are just dealing with some inconsiderate people who happen to be family. 

Don’t stress and let this crap bother you. You only get one day, make the best of it and this crap tht happens, pay no mind to it! Keep smiling and happy planning!

Post # 16
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@amyinbrisbane:  sounds to me like your sister has been moaning to daddy.

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