- 7 years ago
I need some advice here. thanks in adavance for any comments.
First off Im British and getting married in the Uk so our rules are a little different. Im not religious but am from a fairly tradtional backgroung and my FH is Hindu.
After looking at lotts of different option for our wedding we came to the conculusion that we wanted to have a mainly Hindu ceromany, to respcet his culture. However making that a legal wedding in the UK is a little difficult so we need to have a civil ceromany as well. This makes me happy as I will get to wear a white dress and walk down the isle for that bit (there is no-option of combining the two here like there is in the US, civil (legal) ceromanies have to be totally religon free – the uk is a bit backwards.)
Anways so as not to drag it out and also only have to pay for one venue we are planing to do it all on one day and have a very small civil ceromany in the morning and then a huge hindu blessing and then reception with dancing and cake etc in the afternoon/evening.
We wanted to keep the thning in the morning small ( I dislike the idea of a show, and I am already having to do it once in the afternoon), just our wedding party, parents and siblings. Added to this the room only holds 30 people (in the UK rooms have to be legaly approved for wedding to be held in if you want it to be legally valid)
So the problem…my 16 aunties and uncles and their children and their childrens children wont all fit! They are all inivited to the hindu blessing and reception. My mother(who is paying some) thinks that I am direspecting my culture and family by not having them all their to see me “properly married” and this will cause major problems (me being not spoken to by family). I gather she thinks that I am “pandering” more to my future in laws by having the big Hindu ceromany and not a big “English” one as well.
Am I being unreasonable? I am fairly young (24) and not that used to standing up to her. I hope its not a race thing, also part of the problem is that she has already told so many family that I gather they already think they are invited.
I want to be a good daughter and a good daughter in law (and a wife) but also have something resembling what I want on the day.
Should I go ahread as planned or change to a bigger civil ceromany? (would require a change of venue and if I inite all my aunites FMIL will sure want to inite hers as well)