(Closed) family drama

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
165 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

I completely understand, my relationship with my parents is non existent and has been with my mom since I was 12 and my dad since birth. Oh drama. I was even upset that their names had to be on my marriage license! IMO, you dont need the drama, you dont want it and honestly a family that threatens you or makes demands on YOUR DAY, is ridiculous and needs help. Stick to your guns, they may only make your day worse and seriously after everything you have been through, you dont need it. Your Mom would not want it for you either. She will be looking down on you and blessing you and wanting you to be happy, so do what you can to make your day about you and your FI. You could tell them just the way you told us. I am a blunt person but I do care about others feelings but after everything they put you through, stress you dont need, just be tell them straight up.

Post # 4
Member
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I been in the same situation.Where my dad was not around and worst that his family didnt want me around. Until my mom pass away almost three years ago.

I didnt want my dad nor his family around. After my mom pass away I actually started talking to my dad. Because I dont want to have any regrets later in life. Yes I know he had mistakes in life. But we cant go back in time and change that. 

But I will invite him to my wedding. He will not walk me down the aisle he will be there as a guest. Because I thnk that only one that could of done that was my mom. But she is no longer here. 

 

Post # 5
Member
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I can not relate at all, but if I were in your shoes, I would not invite my dad.  The day goes way too fast and you will not have time (nor should you even have to worry about) dealing with drama from your dad or his family.  If his side of the family doesn’t come, then so be it.  They will miss out and in my opinion its none of their business on why or why not he is invited…although I know how extended family can be!

Stick to your guns and if you decide not to invite him, you may want to have someone be "security" in case he comes so they can escort him out.

Post # 6
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

In addition to your family drama with your Dad, it sounds like your family isn’t supportive of your marriage period.  They don’t approve of your fiance or "how you’re doing things with the wedding".  Out of respect for your soon-to-be husband (IMO), these people shouldn’t be there.  The presence of your guests signifies their support for you, and the two of you as a new family unit all on your own.  It doesn’t sound like your family can be that for you, and I can imagine this is very hurtful and frustrating for you, and for your poor fiance!

I have a girlfriend who was in a similar situation, only it was her fiance’s family causing the drama.  She and her husband eloped to Hawaii together and got married just the two fo them at sunset on the beach.  Although his family was upset about it, and she wished her own side of the family could have been there, it helped them avoid a lot of pain, stress and dysfunction from the other side of the family. 

Good luck deciding what to do!

Post # 7
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Don’t let your family guilt you into something you don’t want. It’s completely understandable that you don’t want him there, and I wouldn’t either if I were you. This is YOUR wedding day, not his. And if his family is going to stand behind him, then they obviously dont care about your feelings any more than he does. Stick to your guns, and know that your Mom will be watching you and loving you every second. I’m sure she’d be proud of you for sticking to your guns.

 Best of luck!   *Hugs*

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