Post # 1
I am recently engaged… I as my whole family are based in W.A but I’m marrying a queenslander so instantly we knew with our wedding (and the way our families are) that if we were to get married in either “hometoside either families would be upset with having to travel when the others didn’t have to! So we have booked a ceremony and reception Venue where all family members will have to travel on airlie beach at the beautiful whitsundays…. Problem being (as the bride to be) my family are now making excuses to get out of coming! My Aunty has a 2 y/o girl (even I have a 4 y/o) and not having children at the reception is too difficult! I have a venue that provides the very best of cared professionals of child care service for upto 10 children under 14 where they are fed and entertained from the reception time onwards! They are now saying (working in schooling system) that its not school holidays so they can’t come! Even though it will be on a weekend! They are also saying now they can’t afford it even when I told them in advance that the cost needn’t be an issue because it will be taken care of by me to have them come over. And now the issue has become that if certain people are there then they definitely won’t be coming! It’s supposed to be one of the happiest memories of my adult life and they are destroying it! Every girl dreams of teir wedding and now that I have a shot at it no one at all seems to be happy for me! Both me and my fiancé (as the complaints are coming from both our families) don’t want to give up our dream of this day yet can’t handle it anymore! Why can’t they just be happy for us! We are one more complaint away from calling the whole thing off! And then what? Get told by them that its unfair for the grand parents to not see us get married or that we are just being selfish and mean! Only to then find out if we have a small elopement by which we just go sign the docs to make it official we then get abused for not including them! Like I said – one more complaint away from calling the whole thing off! Any advice or help would be greatly if not hugely appreciated – I’m one sad girl here 🙁
Post # 3
Is cost their issue? Last time I looked into staying in the Whitsundays it was very expensive. It’s way more expensive for the Queenslanders and somewhat more expensive for the WA people (who need to travel anyway). Unfortunately you can’t force people to spend lots of money to attend your wedding.
EDIT: Oh wait I see you say you’re paying, which is very generous of you. Well it’s a very long haul from WA to Qld and back in a single weekend. Also some teachers have weekend commitments… all I can say is talk to those particular people about it.
In the end all you can do is schedule the wedding and hope most people come. If people are determined not to come there’s not much you can do.
Post # 4
I’ll add, in my family there have been two (Australian) interstate weddings, and in both cases the entire immediate family made the trip. Is your family saying they would never fly to Queensland? Because in my experience that is unusual (and unreasonable).
Post # 5
Maybe you could get married on your own or with just your parents so that it is even, no one came. Then have a smaller wedding with each side. Or have a small wedding with each side and don’t tell them which one is the one where you will be signing the marriage certificate.
Even if you are paying for their travel, there can be a lot more costs involved. Hotels, time off work, food outside of the wedding. Perhaps they really just can’t afford the additional costs. I am making the assumption that WA is the US state of Washington, correct me if I am wrong. Then you have the whole passport issue.
Post # 6
“You can’t make it? Aw that is very unfortunate, we would have loved to have you there!”
That’s all you have to say. Anybody that complains about your wedding should not go. You can’t force people to attened. You are covering the costs, providing child care, and they are still not satisfied? what more do they want from you. If anything you are bending over backwards to make them feel comfortable and to meet their needs.
Post # 7
Yeah the main issue is from believe it or not my own mother! She doesn’t believe in marriage and thinks I’m being stupid by getting married even though she likes my fiancé! My family is not poor either and with all costs being covered I don’t see where all the excuses are coming from! at the beginning they said they would fly to the end of the world to see me get married and apparently now that it’s real it’s not the case! And yes they are simply saying they won’t fly to Queensland!! i dunno maybe they are just voicing personal thoughts and concerns and making issues out of them
Post # 8
I had a bit of an internet look this morning: it’s a 4+ hour flight Perth to Brisbane and then another 1.5 hour flight to the Whitsundays. For the schoolteacher who has to work Friday that’s really hard to make a Saturday wedding. I think their only choice would be the midnight flight: it leaves Perth around midnight, goes to Melbourne (or Sydney?) and then connects to Brisbane around 6-7 am the next day (Saturday). Another option is to move the wedding a month back to the April school holidays. But (and I’ve no idea) that might be more expensive.
Anyone else, yeah it’s disapppointing they won’t take a day or two off to fly across the country for a family member’s wedding, especially your own mother. I think all you can do is call her bluff and organise the wedding when it suits you.