(Closed) family drama :

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Is there any reason you HAVE to have even sides?  Why not just have him ask the people he wants to have beside him? 

Post # 4
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

The stepmom needs to back off, it’s not her wedding or her issue. I would suggest having your fiance talk to his brother and seeing how he feels about it. Most college aged guys really don’t care about being in a wedding and the stepmom probably cares A LOT more than the brother actually does. I don’t know how fiance is about conflict but I would suggest that he either talks to his stepmom or his dad and explains that he doesn’t need her opinion on how you two are planning your wedding if it’s only going to be hateful.

Good luck!

Post # 5
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Guys tend to be very passé about weddings, as far as participating.  I’m sure its bothering your FI’s stepmom more than his brother.  Parents can go nuts during wedding planning.  I would confront her and tell her you heard what she said and doesn’t appreciate it, considering you chose her daughter (which is how I read it).  She shouldn’t speak that way about someone, especially her stepson.

Post # 7
Member
8884 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I agree with Birdee.  I’m glad your FI is going to talk to his dad. Someone needs to say something.

I am really impressed that you are being so firm and doing what YOU want to do. It’s your day, I’m so glad you’re not going to let her ruin it 🙂

Post # 9
Member
9234 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rocky Mountains USA

@vorpalette: Aw sorry lady.  Good ol family.  If you FI doesn’t like confrontation, maybe he should email his stepmom and explain the whole situation (doesn’t sound like that was ever done?).  I bet she would appreciate hearing the whole rationale.  If she’s still all pissy after that, then she’s just looking for drama and you can’t please that kind of person. (WHY are so many women like this?!?  ICK.)

Post # 11
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ugh, parents can be such children.  You are a more forgiving person than me – one bitchy little passive agressive post like that and that relative would be cut out of wedding planning for being a Mean Girl.  If your fiance is a people pleaser, this is not going to be fun but it IS important for him to set the boundary and tell her this behavior is out of line, unhelpful and not going to get her what she wants (unless she wants to estrange herself from you guys); this is obviously about HER vision of how she’s pictured this day, and this, I’m guessing, is the first major difference between her vision and reality?  I agree having him chat with the little brother in question, privately and directly asking how he feels about not having a “role” will help guide the discussion; like others have said, it’s not likely to be a huge deal to him and he may even appreciate avoiding the responsibility, if he’s a shy or nervous person.  Best of luck…yayyyyyy families….

 

Post # 15
Member
7794 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hang on I’m missing something: how does half-brother feel about it? OK we know HB’s mother and grandmother are devastated, but it’s not about them. what about HB himself?

Yes, absolutely, FI should talk to his HB.

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