- 4 years ago
going anonymous here…
So my Fi and I picked out my engagement ring in December. Shortly after that, I developed some fairly serious health issues. Fi decided to hold off on the proposal, because he didn’t want our engagement to be a consolation prize. During the several weeks I was offwork, I began planning the wedding – I never booked anything, but I had a pretty good idea of what I wanted to do.
FI’s cousin “Mike” (who is a narcissistic loser – I won’t go into details as they may identify the guilty parties, but please trust my judgement on this one) proposed to his FI around the time my FI was going to propose to me. Out of respect, he waited a couple months to give them their time to shine. They set their wedding date for like 18 months from when they got engaged.
FI proposed a couple of months after this, and we decided on a date 3 months prior to the Mike’s date. We had numerous reasons for this choice, including the fact that FI will likely be returning to school in the fall, and we didn’t want to get married when he was in school.
Mike and his fiance have chosen purple and another light colour as their wedding colours, and I have never talked about colours with them I heard about this through the grapevine. I had already chosen my colours (a dark colour with purple and ivory). I briefly considered changing them, but ultimately decided that 1) they are my absolute favourite colours and one of the very few things about the actual wedding that I really care about (second only to the people involved I would say), and 2) purple is the most popular wedding colour, their wedding is three months away from mine, and given the vast amount of ideas, nothing would likely be similar anyway. Plus, this guy is a cousin, not a sibling. I am not close to Mike’s fiance, but have offered to share some resources, as Mike barely works and his fiance works part-time.
Well, Mike has pitched a fit. Claiming we are upstaging HIS wedding, and making snide remarks at our engagement party of all places. I basically told him he could do whatever the heck he wanted, because I do not give a Sh!+ about his wedding.
I am largely letting my FI deal with this, as this is his family (and my FI is slightly more diplomatic than I am!), but this is actually the most stressful aspect of wedding planning. My normally very passive FMIL is so fed up, she is going to be saying something too. In self-reflection, I can understand to a point that they may feel upstaged a bit in that we got engaged second, and will be married first. But feeling that way and repeatedly mouthing off about it are two very different reactions. I can also understand a bit about the colours, but I really don’t think they have anything to worry about. I am not a fan of Mike at the best of times, and perhaps this is colouring my reaction a bit.
Bees, am I in the wrong? What can I do differently to help the situation without compromising on the colour or changing my date? Talking isn’t helping apparently.