Post # 1
So fellow bees, I have a complicated situation on my hands and I would like your very knowledgable opinions!
Here’s some background:
My FI’s family is for the most part very down-to-earth and personable. The exceptions are his aunt and uncle (on his father’s side), who definitely have issues. Examples: Aunt has openly hit on and tried to feel up both my Fiance and his brother (YES, her nephews!), and Uncle very obviously leers at my breasts (and those of every other young women in attendance) at family gatherings, and even went as far as to comment on wanting to see the way my ass looks in a pair of boots. (FI wasn’t around for that comment, and I (and the other people around) was too shocked and flustered to give him a piece of my mind.)
Some additional information: Uncle is divorced from his wife, and due to his unsavory ways he has absolutely no contact with his ex and his 2 grown children. This has caused a lot of conflict in the family, and especially upsets FI’s grandmother (Uncle’s mother), who is extrememly loyal to her children and thinks that they are all God’s gift. She defends Uncle until she is blue in the face, and believes that her ex-daughter-in-law and her grandchildren are being spiteful and just plain rotten.
That all being said, Fiance and I are uncertain of whether or not we should invite Uncle or Aunt. On the one hand, I absolutely do not want to be going around the room saying my “Thank You’s” and having to grit my teeth while Uncle is undoubtably picturing me naked. Or have Aunt lingering a little too long while hugging the groom. But, on the other hand, we KNOW with absolute certainty that withholding an invite from Uncle and Aunt will cause a LOT of grief in the family, and will just result in another family drama, with US in the middle this time!
What do you think we should do?
Post # 3
Yuck! I can’t imagine what that! I feel dirty for you! That being said, unless you’re prepared for the family backlash, I say you’re still stuck inviting them. Totally sucks but I really can’t see how you can avoid it.. without drama. Do you have many guests on the guestlist? You might be able to just quickly say hi and bye and go on to other guests. Chances are you won’t have to worry about them for long on your day.
Post # 4
Tell Grandma to talk to them. She’ll take care of it 🙂 Honestly; it’s making u feel very weird; so the best thing to do is talk to them about it. I actually would have my grandma talk to them. Tell them that they’re staring and comments have made your family uncompfortable in the past and you hope they would stop and especially at the wedding. I mean c’mon; that’s pretty bad. But Mother knows best.
Post # 5
From what you are stating, I don’t even know why you are even contemplating inviting them. I wouldn’t care about what other people think. They know what is going on, so they shouldn’t even have an issue with you not inviting them.
Post # 6
I don’t see how you can avoid inviting them but if it were me…they would be sitting as far away from me as I could get them. My skin was crawling on your behalf =(
Post # 7
@ noritake22: that’s true too. They definatly have to already know what they are doing…
Post # 8
I am so sorry to hear about your shady relatives. But, family is family and I personally believe that it you should invite them. None of us can have a perfect guest list (sigh~). It’s your wedding day–hopefully there will be far more positive things distracting you to let you linger too long on the sketchy behavior of your aunt and uncle. =
Post # 9
@jennifer – Ugh, I feel dirty every time I have to see Uncle. Thankfully Aunt doesn’t make it to many family functions, so Fiance is safe most of the time.
Our guest like is pretty average, about 140, so if we invite them we plan on seating them as far away as possible.
@DemoDreamer – I understand what you’re suggesting, and we wish that we could speak to her about it. But she is EXTREMELY loyal, and just breathing one bad word about either of them would land us on her bad list. In fact, Uncle was charged with assaulting his second wife 6 months ago, and even with the wife’s statement and pictures, Grandma still thinks that the wife is spreading lies about her perfect son!
Post # 10
eeek… well then I guess i would probably turn to Mom or Dad to talk to them? Or I guess I don’t know. Either invite them and hope they behave or don’t invite them and then explain later…. So sorry; bad situation..