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First of all, don't send the save the dates. You could always decide to invite her later, and STDs are necessary for that. Don't panic! You've got time to think.
Yeah, I'm with Labor on this one. Just don't send them STDs--that way, if you decide you want to invite them later, you can, but if you decide you don't want to, they didn't get save the dates. We moved to a new town right after we got engaged, and there are plenty of people here that got invites to the wedding, but didn't get save the dates. We just didn't know how close we'd be by the time the wedding rolled around. You can see how you're feeling about the situation when the day gets closer. Meanwhile, I'm sorry you're dealing with this!
I'm with the other bees. I would hold on to them and just decide when you send out your invites. Have you talked to your aunt about this? I would 100% voice my concern that if invited to the wedding you fear she will cause drama and make a scene when it's really not about her disliking your fathers family or father etc but about the marriage of you and FI. I would then see how she acts in the upcoming months and see if she is trying to be better. If not then don't send an invite.
I would just flat out let her know. "Look, if you can't respect my wishes to be left out of this family drama, despite me asking you before, I don't know if you can be a part of my life anymore-- esp. my wedding. The choice is up to you."
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Hi All,
Ok, so our save the dates have been addressed, stamped and ready go to for 2+ weeks now... but I am having second thoughts about sending 3 of them. Here's why:
My biological mom's side of the family has a long-lived feud with my dad's side of the family, to say the least (my parents are divorced). So basically, last weekend, my aunt was supposed to come and get my sister for the afternoon - she shows up 30+ minutes late with a multitude of excuses, etc. My dad was upset, I was upset, and after I told her 5+ times that I 'didn't want to get involved/into it (the drama)' she made a scene in public, at my sister's sporting event (in front of other athletes, parents, etc). Wow. Ridiculous. Although my aunt has done a lot for me in the past, she seems to cause a lot of trouble now a days. I try not to let the feuding between the 2 sides of my family affect my relationship with either side, but it really hurt me that she continued to drag me into it after I told her I wanted no part of it. I have a save the date for her and her 2 sons (my cousins), but I am not so sure I want to invite them after that. FYI: I have no issue with either of my cousins and they don't partake in the drama and somehow are left out of it. FI and I were talking and he said he's 100% behind me if I want to toss their save the dates and not invite them. He said he would support whichever decision I make but that he's really not happy with her completely ignoring my wishes to stay out of the drama.
Thoughts? Should I still invite her & my cousins? If it matters, this is the 3rd time she's done this sort of thing in the last 6 months (and it's becoming more frequent).
Thanks. This is such a hard thing for me to decide, so I figured who would know better than the bees!
*Bella*