Family drama, don't know where to spend the holidays

posted 3 years ago in Holidays
Post # 3
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

What I think I would do.

I would spend the holidays with the people I want to spend them with, in this case, SO’s family.

Then I would explain to my dad that thanks for the invitation but recent events have made it clear that you and your SO are not welcome in the house or respected as a couple.  Explainyou dont feel comfortable being there since your step mother clearly makes the rules and until there has been a conversation among everyone and you are comfortable with the direction of your future relationship you are not sure what holidays/events you will be comfortable spending there.

 

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@wouldyoukindlyy:  I wouldn’t spend Thanksgiving with them this year as punishment.  Why would you want to spend the holiday with someone who locked you out and then demanded you clear out your things?  That won’t be awkward at all during the holiday.  Screw them.  I wouldn’t spend another holiday with them until they apologized.

Post # 5
Member
920 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

Honestly it sounds like you want to forgive and forget but you haven’t truly given yourself closure.  I think you should talk to your dad and step mom and explain that you feel wronged and it’s almost like they did a 180 on you.  I don’t thnk you should spend any time with someone that you don’t want to.

Now with that being said it sounds like you were living at your dads when you slept at your significant other’s place.  I agree that what you do when your out on your own is not their bussiness but even though you are an adult it’s still their house their rules.  I’m not saying your dad was for kicking you out however there is a reason why a couple is together and it’s normally because they both agree on big things.  Just because he said she was acting rude doesn’t mean he doesn’t agree with her on this.  It just sounds like your putting all the blame on your step mom when it might be both of them.  It’s also possible that your dad didn’t tell your step mom about him staying so long or bringing all his stuff.  I’d be upset to if I wasn’t informed.

Post # 6
Member
2179 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2024

@beachbride1216 +1111111 YES.

Don’t spend it with them, he knows your step-monster is being a bitch but still called you to get your stuff out of the house right then. It’s crazy. He should have stood up to her and said listen this is my house and my daughter and she’s an adult and you won’t be telling her or me what to do.

…he didn’t so until they BOTH apologize I wouldn’t be spending any holidays with them. Plus the way she treated not only you but your SO…he probably doesn’t even want to be there!

Post # 7
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would definitely stay with SO’s family!

I would explain to them that while you would LOVE to spend time with them, they have different values from you, and you’re having trouble getting past getting kicked out of your own father’s home for being an adult involved in an adult relationship.

But that you hope that things will change once you’re engaged/married, and you look forward to seeing eye-to-eye with them then!

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