Post # 1
Hive, people are driving me crazy! This weekend my Fiance and I went on our first (official) wedding venue appointment and had a nice long talk about what we wanted and how we wanted to do things. He proposed in November and our current date is set for October 2013. That is two years! One of the reasons we waited to get engaged AFTER we got jobs and a place of our own was so that we wouldn’t have to have a long engagement; we’d be able to plan and have our wedding sooner rather than later. For us, two years feels like the long engagement we were trying to avoid. Granted, we have our reasons for setting it so far out (one of them being our budget, so it’s not THAT flexible), but it still feels hard and much longer than we anticipated. After our venue tour we decided to stay and have lunch on their outdoor patio because there was no way we weren’t taking advantage of the amazing weather over the weekend! While we sat and talked, he brought up the idea of moving our date. Not far, just a few months, from October 2013 to July 2013. This sounded like an amazing idea! It made our date FEEL like it was closer without really cutting out much time so we’d still be able to work out our savings plan.
However, later that evening we had a family event (his side) to attend and a ton of people started asking us about our wedding plans and date. We tried to carefully outline that we were torn and were going to decide after looking at more venues and discussing it a bit more between ourselves. My future family did not like this one bit. After pretty much ripping into us that our reasons for choosing July were silly and unnecessary and how no one wanted to attend an outdoor event in July, and how we were just being ridiculous, I began to feel beat up. On top of that, I was cornered by two aunts and very nearly harassed for not wanting children (which Fiance has known about from the very minute we began dating, so this is not a surprise). I just felt raw and sad and like we would never be able to make decisions for ourselves. And I felt like an ass because this was FI’s dad’s birthday; not really the time to be pointing out and discussing our (lack of) wedding details.
What would you do, Hive? Would you take the family’s opinions on this into serious consideration, or add it to the list of “we’ll think about it, maybe”? Does any of this make sense?
Post # 3
Why would no one want to attend a July outdoor wedding? If its heat then make it June. I dont think you should get beat up by them but listen to a few pieces which they may be thinking. To be honest I regret my two year engagement and wish I had planned the wedding in just over a year.
Post # 4
I guess depends on where you are. Where I live, people desperately want their wedding to be in July since we don’t get to see sun much.
Here’s what I think:
summer can get really hot. I am not familiar with IL’s weather so I don’t know how hot it can get in summer time. If you wanted an outdoor wedding, (I am not even care about guests at this point) as a bride, if you have a big wedding gown and lots of makeup on, and if you are one of those that sweats a lot (I do!), it might not be ideal to have the wedding when outside is like 80+ degrees.
But of coz there are ways to get around it. If you only have a short ceremony, maybe you can have it later on of the day so it’s not quite as hot as noon. Or if your venue outdoor has a lot shades and stuff for people who doesn’t like sun, good too.
We picked Aug because there will be less chance of rain for us. So maybe you have to decide on which month works better for you guys.
Also, a lot of people tend to have stuff planned for summer time too. So if you plan on having summer wedding, do tell them early.
Also, if you guys are doing it on a budget, all vendors charge more for summer time (in general) so it might be something to think about too.
That being said, I will put guest’s wishes into considerations (only if they have valid points). Fiance and I were SET on summer. So our compromise is to find a place that won’t be quite as hot and in case it rains. We found a venue with outdoor COVERED balcony for our ceremony. It will be very nice, rain or shine.
So don’t get discouraged on all comments. My sister initially had it planned for Nov and people were complaining why not do it in summer time since their kids have summer vacation and so forth.
You can never please ALL relatives is what I have learned from the family. 😛
Post # 5
I’m sorry your Fiance family is being so nosey. I think you should do it whenever you want!
My engagement is going to be a year and seven months, but I wish it was only a year, but we got engaged in February, and we really were set on an October wedding, so its going to be a long engagement for us too. If I had the option to move it up, I would!
Post # 6
I think it’s your and your fiance’s wedding, and you should plan whatever date is most desirable for you two.
I’ve learned quickly that family will always have their opinions on your wedding plans. But other bees have helped to remind me that it’s not the end of the world if they don’t like something, and in the end it’s about the marriage. 🙂 Do what you want, and in the end you will be happy…(and I bet that day everyone else will be just fine too). 😉