- 3 years ago
- Wedding: December 2012
I’m not exactly sure how to feel about a situation.
My husband and I have had very different upbringings, so perhaps it is simply cultural differences… but I’d like to know – is this normal?
My MIL is extremely hurt by her son (my husband). Here is how it all unfolded:
Saturday was my birthday and my MIL was coming over to our home to have a mini birthday celebration. It was getting a bit later than she was supposed to come over, so we called / text to see that everything was ok. After not getting any answers and her still not showing up (which is not normal for her), we started getting worried. We texted her that we were on our way to her home to check that everything was ok.
Turns out she was at the hospital. We got there shortly after, and she had an appendicitis and had to have an appendectomy. We stayed with her until her husband (my husband’s father) got there, and she went on to have the surgery. Everything went well and she was home the next day. We left flowers and a get well card at her home before she got back.
We checked on her that day and the next (called), and saw her three days after the surgery for a few hours. She was doing pretty great, walking around and talking about going golfing. So far so good.
[Surgery happened Saturday, we saw her last on Tuesday. ]
That week was our vacation week, so we were pretty excited just about staying home, doing some work around the house and yard.
On Saturday morning, we receive a phone call – MIL is crying and telling my husband that she has failed as a mother (implying he is a failure), and how hurt she is. They were visiting that next day and she said it would have to be the biggest acting job of her life and have nothing else to say to him.
The reason for this is that he did not call and ask about her appendectomy recovery on Thursday and Friday.
He then apologizes and validates her feelings by saying that he can see how that would be hard for her and that he’ll try to be better about it in the future.
Fast forward the next day, she completely ignores us when visiting, calls back later still crying about the above situation. She is still extremely hurt, and cannot understand how my husband does not feel “completely terrible and heartbroken” about what he did.
I do not understand what more we can do than apologize. I feel helpless. Is this normal?
What do you think?