Post # 1
Let me start out of explaining something: when my grandmother died, my grandfather remarried. My uncle then married my grandfather’s new wife’s daughter; he married his stepsister. Okay, that is important.
My grandfather passed away in March and I’ve never had a close relationship with his wife, though she loves to call me her granddaughter (I hate it). She is my uncle’s mother-in-law and is causing lots of problems regarding my grandfather’s will. My fiance and I live in my grandfather’s old house, which he and his wife have not lived in for 3 years. She still had stuff over there before we moved in, and we offered to move it to her house for her, which is less than a mile from where we live. She’s been calling us thieves and liars behind our back, as well as giving my grandfather’s stuff away to HER children, but not my grandfather’s children. Her daughter (my aunt) has been completely defending her the entire time, though she’s a very deceitful woman. The question is this:
Do I have to invite her to our wedding? It would cause a bigger rift in our family if we didn’t, since my uncle is married to her daughter, and is very (sadly) influenced by her. This woman’s son and his family also live nearby and we only attend their events out of respect, but have no real relationship with them either. Do we have to invite them just to keep peace? I hate having to acquiesce on my wedding day to such dishonorable people just to make things easier on my uncle, but I fear I’ll have to and it makes my stomach turn. What do you think?
Post # 3
You either invite her or be ready to deal with the consequences. I mean only you know if this will cause a big issue within your family. If you feel it’s worth it then don’t invite her.
Post # 4
I think it really depends on the type of event you are having. If you are having a larger wedding and inviting a lot of people, it will definetely cause a problem.
If it will be a small event and you can get away with saying “we really only have enough space for a few people” then it might be a little easier.
In both cases, be prepared to deal with a bit of backlash. I guess you have to decide what you prefer: having that ill feeling of her at your wedding or having to deal with upset relatives that she is not there.
Post # 5
I feel your pain. I have a number of family members that I don’t want to invite to our wedding for various reasons. Ultimately, I decided to invite them anyways because in the end I’ll have to deal with the consequences. ie. awkward family gatherings, other family members getting upset, destroyed relationships that I might regret later, etc.
Post # 6
@kappasweetiepie: You don’t have to do anything, it’s YOUR wedding. You want people on your wedding day that’s going to give off good vibes and send good thoughts and well-wishes your way. Just knowing what you have typed and nothing else, she wouldn’t be invited to my wedding. If you just take out the part that she WAS MARRIED to your grandfather, and just leave it as “your uncle’s wifes mother” — We don’t have my aunts/uncles SO’s parents on our guest list. The choice is up to you and your FH.
However, as a previous poster stated, be prepared to deal with the consequences if you don’t. Since I’m almost sure it will cause issues.
Good Luck and I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.