Family Drama – What to Say?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
7030 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@anonbee77:  I would stay out of it. If you husband wants to sort it out with them, let him.

I also wonder if there’s a bit of miscommunication, i.e. sister said it one way and mother interpreted it another way.

Post # 4
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@anonbee77:  My opinion? I don’t think it’s your place to say anything. However, I think he should say something. It’s his sister and she hurt his feelings. I would advise him to tell her how much she hurt him after he tried so hard to make her stay pleasant. He should stand up for himself- you doing it is only going to cause problems. Others might disagree but that’s the way I’d handle it. And I hope he does speak up for himself, she was way rude!

Post # 6
275 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@anonbee77:  yeah, I can see that if you two are close but I still think its better for him to say something. at there end of the day it’s still his sister. And it will probably get her attention a little more that he did speak up and say something, she might really understand how hurt he was by it. See what she responds to him. keeping my fingers crossed that she responds appropriately! 

Post # 9
5160 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

1) Ideally, your DH should bring this up, not you.  But, since you two are bascialy best friends, it would be ok for you to bring it up.

2) There are alwasy two sides to a story.  This is just here-say.  Sounds like there could be a misunderstanding.  He/you need to hear SIL’s side of things.

Post # 10
929 posts
Busy bee

@anonbee77:  What your SIL did was very ungrateful of her, but I agree it’s not really our place to say anything. I saw your update saying your DH was texting her, which I think is the right thing to do. IF you want her to understand that you were hurt by this too, I’d just back away from the friendship for a little while. Don’t text her as much or be as chatty. I think she’ll get the point that you’re upset with her and siding with DH and won’t tolerate her badmouthing him without you actually having to say anything and causing any conflict or drama. 

Post # 11
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If SO’s sister hurt him badly enough to make him cry, I would charge on into the situation. However, that is not a mature response, and I know it.

Is it possible she was joking? Or that she didn’t mean anything by it? SO’s family members like to joke around and poke fun at him, and I know it gets under his skin sometimes, but it’s never done maliciously.

Let him handle it. If you can’t resist the urge to say something, don’t do it via text message. Actually talk to her.

ETA: just saw that your hubby is already talking to her about it. Definitely stay out of it for now.


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