- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2013
So i have posted before about my bridesmaids drama.. out of all my bridesmaids only 1 has not gotten her dress yet, and she is my sister. Not only has she not ordered her dress, but she constantly calls my wedding “big and stupid” or talks about how ugly the bridesmaid dresses are, and she is the only sister (& bridesmaid) who lives by me, and always cancles on me when i ask for help with wedding stuff Everytime Someone asked her when/if she would order the dress she had a different excuse. Her latest excuse was “because I make her feel like i don’t want her in my wedding, she hasn’t ordered it yet, and now she has to pay an extra 50$ for rush shipping” Like it is my fault!!!!!
That was it for me, I have been considering asking her to choose if she wants to step down and just be a guest for about a month now… and my parents supported my decision and told me I should say something to her… so I emailed her so i would have written proof of what i said, so it wouldn’t get turned around on me, and make me the bad guy!!
here is what i said:
i asked you to be in my wedding along with everyone else because i love you, and wanted you to be part of my wedding. that is the same reason it has made this so hard for me to say this.I am not kicking you out of my wedding I am simply asking you to tell me if you would like to step down as a bridesmaid, and if so we would still love for you to be a guest at our wedding. I do not know why you have yet to order your dress, but if it is because of money, then you can choose to save the money, and just be a guest. i was hoping once you got engaged you would better understand how important this is too me. you should understand how much it hurts me i have to say something like this to my sister, 3 months before my wedding. We have expenses we have to pay for, for the bridesmaids and it is not fair for us to waste money on your flowers, gifts, etc. if you truly do not want to be in our wedding. I do not know what happened to our relationship,to cause it to be at this point now, because we were so close. but i have never done or said anything to make you feel like i did not want you in my wedding. the only reason i have had second thoughts recently is because you keep saying you will order you dress, but you don’t. that gives me the impression you just do not care. it also really sucks that i feel like we are unable to be excited for each other, and talk about wedding things, and do stuff together now that we are both getting married, because we don’t even talk anymore. once again, I am not being the bad guy. the decision is yours to be in our wedding or be a guest. But i would like to know now.
and of course, it got turned around on me!!!! She told me she would rather not be in my wedding, so i said i was sorry she felt that way, and i would still love for her to be a guest. Then i get a nasty phone call from another sister for “kicking her out of my wedding” and everyone feels bad for her, saying she always makes excuses and thats just the way she is, and that she would take forever to order a dress for anyone’s wedding not just mine… but no one has said “wow i wonder how the bride feels since her sister decided to drop out of her wedding”
And not only did i get that mean phone call… but my Step father who kept telling me to say something to my sister FLIPPED out. He told me i was a bitch, and a bridzilla. and he wouldn’t walk me down the aisle, and when i started crying he told me i deserve to cry and i am so messed up….
(Also my step father who months ago told me i should not invite his daughter, is now flipping out because i didn’t invite her..but that is a whole other story. she is a mess, an alcoholic, a bitch, we don’t even talk. and everyone told me not to invite her and now that i made that decision I am the bad guy. but that is a whole other story)
I am so hurt, I am considering calling off our wedding, eloping, and moving right now! instead of waiting until june. I have never been so hurt in my life. I do not know what to do.