Post # 1
Is it just me or does it seem like a lot of the Mothers of the bee’s on here, have issues with their daugthers getting married?
Either they are anti- big weddings because they didnt have one, or becuase their marriage didnt work out in the long run.
OR they are pushy wedding because they didnt have one and they are living through their daugther?
Or is it because there is a less than 20 year ago gap between daughters and mothers and the MOB wants to be center of attention.
Most of the MOB’s are baby boomers ( as I am) and maybe its part of the me generation?
Just waxing philosophically on a friday afternoon reading family, relationship, and drama posts.
Retread PS. I was just happy my MOM was there to see me marry the right man this time.
Post # 3
Not at all. This MOB was married 35 years ago. In our situation, we’re paying for 100% (75k) and we do want some say in what the money is used for. I’ve heard too many horror stories where the parents pay for everything, the couple makes all the decisions, and the parents have regrets. Our couple has only attended a few of weddings as adults. They’ve discussed the pros and cons, but have welcome the experience that parents can bring to the decision making.
Years ago I think being the MOB was a bigger deal – more a center of attention, but I’m totally not that way.
Even so, there has been some conflict about how the bride and groom want to spend the budget. There were a few things that the FOB and MOB requested i.e. The groom wanted to hire a local club/bar band, instead of one that could play music for all ages. We’re still arguing about speeches. The parents say NONE, since we’ve experienced more than we’d ever want to hear. It’s an ongoign process, with lots of give and take.
Post # 4
My mom was a true delight during wedding planning! Her own mother ran roughshod over her (my mom claims the only thing at the wedding she picked was the groom). She actually walked to the venue from her parents’ house with my dad to avoid some drama at the house and it took almost an hour before the MOB noticed the bride wasn’t there. As a result, my mom was almost too hesitant to offer any opinion during planning (and my parents paid 75% of the bill with my in-laws covering the rest). Luckily we have similar views on basic things and my mom is smart enough to know that small things don’t matter enough to fight over (especially if it’s an issue of personal taste rather than guest comfort).
Post # 5
Neither my mother nor my Mother-In-Law want any input at all (and my parents are paying for the wedding)
Its to the point where im almost begging for an opinion!! I’d like them to have more input, but Id rather this way then having my entire wedding dictated to me
Post # 6
Nobody wants to write a post about people all getting along happily! And if they did, nobody would read it.
Post # 7
Aside from a few arguments over family invites and such, my mom was pretty good – she had problems with a few ideas inititally because she couldn’t envision them, but eventually agreed that I would handle the decor, since I was paying for much of that element. (My Mother-In-Law was amazingly un-demanding.)
I think part of it is that, at least for my mother’s generation, weddings were more standardized (typical church wedding), and often planned by the bride’s parents, so she assumed it would be similar when her daughter got married, which wasn’t the case.
Granted, MOBs are just people, so some are bound to be selfish or anti-wedding, but others may just be thrown off-balance by how things have changed.