(Closed) Family, Dry wedding, alcohol,

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
9920 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Can you control how much alcohol is consumed by only offering drinks at dinner?  

Post # 4
Member
4528 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Maybe do just a champagne toast, or just wine and beer.

Post # 5
Member
2963 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No bar and just a champagne toast. That should do it!

Post # 6
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

[comment moderated for trolling]

Post # 7
Member
180 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Sammicake:  I don’t have a family problem but I am planning an alcohol-free wedding. I have no problem with drinking alcohol but I think some of my not too close friends can cause such a problem and I’m absolutely sure that all people I really care can have a great time without alcohol. Alcohol isn’t required to make a great time. If you’re worried about a problem, why don’t you make it alcohol free?

Post # 8
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

my mother advised for every guest getting 2 drink tickets. then they have to pay for their liqour. 

Post # 9
Member
2691 posts
Sugar bee

I like the PP’s ideas of doing a champagne toast or only serving drinks at dinner.  Another idea would be to make some signature non-alcoholic drinks to entice guests.  If you put them on a table next to a food area and feature them prominently, guests will want to try them first.

Post # 10
Member
9920 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I am also concerned about your family members who cannot control themselves…and also the other people whose friends are unable to control themselves.  I don’t know anyone like that, thankfully!  I wonder how common it is.

Post # 11
Member
3595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@Sammicake:  oh yes, the “champaign toast” was held at the last dry wedding I attended and ever will attend. I watched as the stuff dribbled out through a hole in the cheap plastic glass we were given. Saturday evening cocktail hour recpetion, and I had to sit there, listening to the speeches droning on and on, while the only hope of a little bubbly disappeared in front of me.

With that wedding I swore off dry weddings when they are Saturday night and go on for hours.

Look–have a brunch reception or afternoon tea or some such thing. Trying to control everyone’s alcohol intake is paternalistic and condescending.

Hey, I don’t mean that you have to serve alcohol–you don’t. But you have to be realistic about what you can contorl and what you cannot control, people will do what they want to do. They may leave early without alcohol or they may bring their own flasks and get plastered anyway.

Stop trying to control it. If your family has too many members who act like drunken bores, don’t give them that opportunity, think up a different event (morning, afternooon) that will not engender expectation of alcohol.

 

Post # 12
Hostess
13662 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Someone else had a good idea — having alcohol provided only for a certain amount of time during the reception. Or if you’re really concerned, go ahead and have a dry reception. Alcohol isn’t a necessity.

Post # 13
Member
3423 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Last wedding I went to had only Sangria and beer. I brought a flask. Anyone who really wants to drink at a wedding will bring a flask.

Post # 14
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@zoberger:  +1

Not to mention, you really can’t control what your adult guests drink (or eat, or wear, or say, or do).  

Post # 15
Member
5557 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2011

If you don’t want drunk people at your wedding (which I totally get as one who finds drunk people pretty classless,  especially at a formal event) don’t have alcohol. If someone is totally incapable of spending a few hours without a drink perhaps they should see a therapist for their drinking problem. 

Post # 16
Member
3595 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

@chasesgirl:  I actaully agree with you, haha! I have become one of those bores who do not wish to sit for 5+ hours at a round table in a hotel ballroom watching predictible events unfold while eating a plated dinner that is ok at best. I do way too much of this kind of thing at work only usually with those things there is a cash bar and I can have wine with dinner.

Note that I CAN do it, I am able to attend the 5+ hour event without wine, I just do not wish to do it.

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