Post # 1
Hello fellow bees!
Im in need of some help here, my family while i love them dearly have NO sense of occasion and cannot seem to realise that they cant have a drink with out getting plastered. So in my wedding planning i am trying to find a way to tastefully and gracefully decide what to do. I do not want drinking at my wedding or if at the bare minimum a way to really control how much is drank. i know this is hard to try to figure out but i really wouldnt like the drunken embarrassment that i have seen at other family functions. I want my family to enjoy my wedding but also for them to realise this isnt frat party. :/
Post # 3
Can you control how much alcohol is consumed by only offering drinks at dinner?
Post # 4
Maybe do just a champagne toast, or just wine and beer.
Post # 5
No bar and just a champagne toast. That should do it!
Post # 6
[comment moderated for trolling]
Post # 7
@Sammicake: I don’t have a family problem but I am planning an alcohol-free wedding. I have no problem with drinking alcohol but I think some of my not too close friends can cause such a problem and I’m absolutely sure that all people I really care can have a great time without alcohol. Alcohol isn’t required to make a great time. If you’re worried about a problem, why don’t you make it alcohol free?
Post # 8
my mother advised for every guest getting 2 drink tickets. then they have to pay for their liqour.
Post # 9
I like the PP’s ideas of doing a champagne toast or only serving drinks at dinner. Another idea would be to make some signature non-alcoholic drinks to entice guests. If you put them on a table next to a food area and feature them prominently, guests will want to try them first.
Post # 10
I am also concerned about your family members who cannot control themselves…and also the other people whose friends are unable to control themselves. I don’t know anyone like that, thankfully! I wonder how common it is.
Post # 11
@Sammicake: oh yes, the “champaign toast” was held at the last dry wedding I attended and ever will attend. I watched as the stuff dribbled out through a hole in the cheap plastic glass we were given. Saturday evening cocktail hour recpetion, and I had to sit there, listening to the speeches droning on and on, while the only hope of a little bubbly disappeared in front of me.
With that wedding I swore off dry weddings when they are Saturday night and go on for hours.
Look–have a brunch reception or afternoon tea or some such thing. Trying to control everyone’s alcohol intake is paternalistic and condescending.
Hey, I don’t mean that you have to serve alcohol–you don’t. But you have to be realistic about what you can contorl and what you cannot control, people will do what they want to do. They may leave early without alcohol or they may bring their own flasks and get plastered anyway.
Stop trying to control it. If your family has too many members who act like drunken bores, don’t give them that opportunity, think up a different event (morning, afternooon) that will not engender expectation of alcohol.
Post # 12
Someone else had a good idea — having alcohol provided only for a certain amount of time during the reception. Or if you’re really concerned, go ahead and have a dry reception. Alcohol isn’t a necessity.
Post # 13
Last wedding I went to had only Sangria and beer. I brought a flask. Anyone who really wants to drink at a wedding will bring a flask.
Post # 14
Not to mention, you really can’t control what your adult guests drink (or eat, or wear, or say, or do).
Post # 15
If you don’t want drunk people at your wedding (which I totally get as one who finds drunk people pretty classless, especially at a formal event) don’t have alcohol. If someone is totally incapable of spending a few hours without a drink perhaps they should see a therapist for their drinking problem.
Post # 16
@chasesgirl: I actaully agree with you, haha! I have become one of those bores who do not wish to sit for 5+ hours at a round table in a hotel ballroom watching predictible events unfold while eating a plated dinner that is ok at best. I do way too much of this kind of thing at work only usually with those things there is a cash bar and I can have wine with dinner.
Note that I CAN do it, I am able to attend the 5+ hour event without wine, I just do not wish to do it.