Post # 1
So I was inspired by a few posts from another thread re: parents helping with a wedding.
Some bees were saying as the _____ (older, middle, younger) child that they got shafted in their family.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be financial, but can include lots of different things.
Did your parents play favorites or did your siblings (or you) get more? How long did it take you to get over it/are you?
Edit: Edited post title as it was opposite of my poll, lol.
Post # 3
@AmeliaBedelia: I hate to say it but my younger sister alway got the shaft when i came to anything with my dad (parents are divorced) I dont know if its due to the fact that i am the loud outspoken one that always made sure that I got want I wanted (wow I sound spoiled!) but I honestly think its due to the fact that my sister never really stood up for herself so she never really got the attention that I did….. unfortunatly even to this day 🙁
Post # 4
I’m the oldest and my sister and I had totally different expectations growing up. I think that while we were developing and becoming adults, they favored me. I had better grades, played tons of sports, went off to college, etc. She didn’t do anything really and they treated her as such. No expectations set upon her.
As we got older and all of that encouragement made me a successful adult, she then “needed” them more. They now favor her. The best line I heard my Dad say was “the squeeky wheel gets the grease” when I brought it up once.
Post # 5
I don’t think either of us get favored over another. My parents have always given me some sort of help when i needed it, and they have done this with my sister as well. Sometimes I feel like my sister has gotten somethings that I would have liked (I am not as outspoken as she is and get kind of down when I hear that her and our mom did certain things together or she got my grandmas quilt), but I try to remember all that my parents have done for me that she hasn’t gotten (my parents helped me out with three cars in the past and she may have to buy her own sooner than I did)
Post # 6
@shel_lee_1: Thanks for sharing. 🙂
I guess I should comment on my own thread, right?
My family is super complicated. There are 4 of us (soon to be a 5th adopted) and I am the oldest. I feel like my youngest sister is the spoiled one 90% of the time. My parents have more to give her…and so they do. I was joking that her wedding would cost 5X the cost of mine, because it probably will. She’s loud, kind of a diva, and the baby.
I feel like I get shafted mostly because I’ll have been the only one to have to get a job in high school, the only one to have to “make it” on my own <– not my parents fault. Our grandparents are leaving us money and my sibs are all currently 18 (well 17, for one more month) and under.
My brothers have gotten much more help academically, even though we are all pretty equal. Again, parents just have (or make?) more time to help them out. My Mom still proofs my brothers papers and he is in college. I think the last time she did that for me was middle school? Granted, I didn’t feel as if I needed help. So I see that part of it was my own doing.
I never had a TV in my room, but my brothers did. I didn’t get a phone until high school and both brothers got theirs in middle school…heck, my sister will probably have one at like 9? She has an iPad.
Post # 7
@mwitter80: Very true. I get the, “But you could do it on your own” comment a lot. Um, duh I could. I was a highly independent child. That doesn’t mean I couldn’t have used a bit more attention. Lol.
Post # 8
@auggiefrog: Yeah, I mean in the end I think we’re all pretty thankful when we have good parents overall. I think siblings really complicate things! Lol. I know Fiance and I will probably be more aware of siblings rivalry when we have our own children as we’re the “shafted” ones… my mom, my dad, and his dad were all only children so I really think they didn’t get it.
Post # 9
Older sister totally got more attention than I ever did. She’s 14 months older, but far more loud, abrasive, and demanding than I am.
Post # 10
My younger brother gets favored but its because he’s difficult. He seems to always get into trouble and make poor decisions so my parents spend lots of their time bailing him out, giving him money, etc. I don’t take it personal, its just, even at 26 years of age, he still needs them more.
Post # 11
As a child, my mother definitely favoured my brother. When my brother was a teen, my dad got really involved in my extracurricular activities and I definitely got less attention overall.
Now, however, I think my parents like me better. Despite of some bumps in my road, my parents are really proud of me and my achievements and definitely have made attempts to show me that. Partly though, they just like my daughter :p
Post # 12
I am the oldest, I have 1 full brother, 2 half brothers (mom and step-dad & dad and his 2nd wife) and a half-sister (dad & 2nd wife) – sorry if that doesn’t make sense.
I would say it depends. My dad & his 2nd wife favored their children together. After they divorced, my dad favored my full brother. My mom and step-dad favor their son together. My mom shows more favor to the boys. My mom and I aren’t on speaking terms because she took up for my brothers and respected their wishes toward my wedding instead of my own.
I’m the favorite of both sets of my grandparents. I lived with one set of grandparents through highschool and consider my mom’s mom (my memama) to be my mom.
Post # 13
My sister, hands down. She is the middle child, the pleaser, the nonconfrontational, friendly, funny, smart one. She never got in trouble. She always did what my dad wanted and she worked for him for a very long time. She was the dream child and she still is. She’s the one who is married now with the first 3 grandchildren that my parents absolutely adore. As do I, don’t get me wrong.
Both parents try to pretend that they don’t treat her better than my brother and I but they have admitted to it before. I totally admit that I have always been the loud independent youngest one with a LOT more issues with my parents divorce and my own personal issues. I always wanted to do things on my own and rarely wanted anyone elses’ help.
Post # 14
I am not even going to lie, I am the favored child. My sister is a ……. well not a nice word and my brother is far away with the Army. I am the one that, even when I used to travel for work, will always be here to take care of my folks. I am also the only one out of my siblings, that has paid back every dime they have ever lent me, I appreciate the things they have done for me and I respect the fact that it was meant as a temporary help and not a hand out. My sister treats my parents like a bank that she only visits when she needs cash. I talk to both of them frequently, my mom daily and my dad every few days. It also helps that I am the only one that has had my child around them his entire life. With my brother always stationed away, the grand kids haven’t been around so much and my sister is just selfish and ……So ya, I am the favorite.
Post # 15
@misskoala: Wow you guys are on par with us as far as complicated! I didn’t get into my full story, but I have 3 step-sibs as well (that I don’t really have much to do with) and my youngest sister is technically a half-sister. She is my Mom and Step-Dad’s adopted daughter, me and my brother’s are my Mom and Dad’s Bio children. I sort of forget that part of her being more spoiled is probably because she is my Step-Dad’s only “technical” child. Hm.
@MsBrooklynA: Lol. There is always one, right? I think that used to be my 1st brother…but dynamics are changing as he’s growing up. We shall see!
@tksjewelry: As you should be, it sounds like….Lol jk. Is your sister younger?
@kittyface: Haha. I’m sure they like you almost as much as your daughter. 😉 Grandkids get to be awesomely spoiled.
@Miss Orchard: True. Both my two youngest are more of the “Crap, what did ____ do now?” kids. Me and my 1st brother are more alike – we have set paths, typically make good decisions, etc.
@StuporDuck: Wow you guys are close in age! Yep, my sister is the loudest person I think I have ever met. Literally.