- mrs m.
- 7 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
Hello bees…normally I don’t go out of my way to post anything…ever….but something happened over the holiday that made me think to come here and see if anyone’s ever had something similar happen to them.
When I was ten years old, my mother was given her grandmother’s (my GREAT grandmother’s) engagement ring. Ever since I was in high school, my mother has told me that my great grandmother’s engagement ring was to be mine when I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. My FI knew about all this, so when he went to ask my parents for “permission”, they said they’d get the rings (the actual ring and the guard) cleaned up for him, and he could come back and pick them up later that week.
He picked it up that Friday, put the box (that had a LATCH on it) in his pocket, walked across the lawn to his car, took the box out of his pocket, and put the box in his dashboard compartment. He got three blocks outside of my parent’s development, went to open the box to look at the ring again, and it was gone.
Soooo, long story short here, his whole entire family (three sisters, brother, mother, father) along with both of my parents spent the better part of 20 hours searching for this thing and it was nowhere to be found. His family told him to propose anyway the next night without the ring because it would be impossible to keep the secret from me, and he did, and of course I said yes!
(Yes, we took the car to a mechanic, got a metal detector, anything you can think of in terms of searching…we did it. Trust me.)
Needless to say though, it’s been an emotional month to say the least. We had every intention of going out together and picking a nice ring from a jeweler. In the meantime, my grandmother called me and asked if I would wear HER ring just “until the other is found”. I said yes, she had it cleaned up, and gave it to me. Two days later, she said she wanted me to keep it. It just didn’t mean anything to her anymore now that she saw it on my finger.
I was touched! It meant so much to me for her to say that and want me to have such a big piece of her (my grandad passed away a long time ago). I wore it with pride.
However, this Christmas Eve, as I was leaving, we were saying our goodbyes and she grabbed my hand and said, “Now remember, when I die, this ring goes to your aunt. You’ll have your own ring by then.”
First off, my grandmother is in great shape and won’t be leaving us for at least another 20 years…so why even say that?? Also, she already said she wanted me to have it! I was so confused and hurt, I cried all the way to my FI’s family party.
That night I went home and told my mom the whole story. I said I wanted to give the ring back after all that because all the crap it’s causing just isn’t worth it. She told me to forget about it for now. She thinks that because she got my great grandmother’s ring to begin with (the ring my FI lost), and now that I’m getting my grandmother’s ring, that my aunt (my mom’s only other sister) feels left out and maybe my grandmother feels guilty.
I think what really upsets me the most out of all of this is that this THING, while it still holds sentimental value, is really just that…..a THING. I don’t want it if it’s going to cause a rift between family members. What’s more is that it doesn’t even feel like mine anymore. Plus my FI feels awful enough for everything that happened…he’s really been through enough with all these family heirlooms 🙂 I think he’d rather pick out and pay for one on his own.
Ladies, I really just had to get all this off of my chest — I’m really at a loss for what to do next…I’m so hurt that I can’t think straight anymore.