Family Feud – do i invite my aunt

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I have to
    she does not support you as a couple so NO you don't, it's not rude either if she is unsupportive : (43 votes)
    88 %
    sadly yes you must it's very rude not to invite her : (0 votes)
    owe this is tricky, you will really have to feel it out : (3 votes)
    6 %
    You don't have to but it will be very rude not to : (3 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    751 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    This is your mom’s sister…have you discussed this with your mom?  I would probably go with her wishes on this one.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Kissed_by_lightning:  One question:  When you consider all the factors, will hr presence upset you on your day?

    Post # 5
    Member
    1822 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Pavilion overlooking golf course scenery, reception at banquet hall

    I would not invite her. She has broken etiquette in a dozen different ways, I would not feel the need to follow any in regard to her either.

    At first I wondered if it were like the situation with my own aunt-in-law (?) – my FIL’s siblings are all pretty negative toward this aunt that my husband hasn’t seen since he was very very young. That said, she has never done anything negative to us, so we sent her an invitation. She declined, but we were surprised to find a very thoughtful gift in the mail the week before our wedding (something personalized and engraved with our names and wedding date). So, that family feud obviously stops with our branch of the family tree. Your situation does not sound at all like that. You have been fair, and she has been a b*tch. It’s her move to decide to be civil next, not yours.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2878 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Yeah I would definitely not invite her.  I know she’s family, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    3249 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @Kissed_by_lightning:  If she’s going to make your wedding unhappy for you, don’t invite her.  But also consider what feelings/consequences not inviting her will have on that day.  Really do your best to look at every possibility when making this decision.

    Post # 13
    Member
    478 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    No negative nancys allowed! Just no.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1793 posts
    Buzzing bee

    DNA doesn’t require an invitation.  She is toxic.  I read this whole thread and there is no reason to invite her (and I’m a pretty by the book MOB on some of that stuff, but not when it comes to toxic people).  Even if Grandma doesn’t understand and gets mad, do not invite her.  Your whole wedding day will be full of nerves and worry for all the wrong reasons!  It should be a joyous day, not a day to wonder when Auntie Grumpy Pants is going to go off on someone.  Don’t invite her.

    Post # 15
    Member
    1613 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    @Kissed_by_lightning:  Either way it’s a Catch 22. IF she is NOT invited, she will be a drama queen. If she IS invited, she will be a drama queen.

    I say don’t risk your day and do not invite her and PLEASE have a ballsy hostess who will not be afriad to tell her to F-off if she shows up.

    Post # 16
    Member
    687 posts
    Busy bee

    If she was only fighting with someone else in the family I would say invite everyone and let them deal with their own BS. My boyfriend’s whole family has been at war with one of his uncles for a few years and the only one who likes him is the grandfather. While we find him annoying at times and TOTALLY understand why the rest of the family is frustrated with him, he hasn’t done anything to us personally so we feel like we have to invite him. If someone else wants to throw a hissy about it and not go, that’s their drama. 

    But since your aunt has been mean and nasty to you and your SO as well, you should not invite her. Just know that she might show up anyway– I’ve seen that happen at a wedding before!

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