- 5 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
Apologies in advance, this post is all over the place, I did my best to explain the situation but I know it’s a mess.
I have two problems I’m hoping you can help me work through.
First problem: We have been planning our Australian wedding from Canada since 2011 so have had well over a year to umm and ahh over every detail. The one big problem we have is that FI has a very small family and I have a big family.
His Mum and Dad are divorced so don’t really communicate; his brothers are also horrible with communication so they haven’t really talked in the 4 years we have been in Canada (except when we went home last Christmas) FI really trys but they don’t even respond to text messages. He doesn’t have any Aunts, Uncles or cousins. His Mum and Dad also don’t have many friends. They are lovely but they are just quiet people.
My family is close and big with quite a few Aunts, Uncles and cousins, all who I am close to. My parents are also very social so have lots of friends. They would love to invite them (so would I) but that isn’t an option.
I think he feels inadequate, as his family isn’t close. It makes him feel like shit but I think he should embrace this new happy family he is marrying into.
He wants a small wedding (28 people) with really expensive food and wine. Only 1 groomsman (his best friend)
I want to invite my family and a few friends (approx. 70 people in total for the whole wedding) This means the food and wine will be less expensive but still great quality (more like $15 per bottle of wine rather than $50, $80 per person for a nice cocktail menu rather than $200 per person for a fancy sit down meal)
How do we meet in the middle? I don’t want him to feel overwhelmed and have a wedding he doesn’t want but at the same time I don’t want to exclude the people closest to me to make him happy, giving up my own happiness.
Second (stupid) problem: A big reason he wants 1 groomsmen (his best friend) rather than 3 groomsmen (bf, and two brothers) is because his brothers wont buy their own suits, his dad will have to pay for them. They are 27 and 31 years old but are hopeless at supporting themselves (this is another issue but I digress). This will take about 3k out of the budget and will mean I can only have 1 bridesmaid. I think it’s ridiculous.
I would love to have 3 bridesmaids (sister, best friend and cousin) These girls are all very close to me and have always been my chosen BM’s since I was little. Renting isn’t an option as FI is really keen on fashion so won’t rent a suit. I don’t want to make him do that as it’s important to him.
Ugh please help. We are normally so great with communication and being able to compromise, but this time we are having real trouble and I can’t see the forest from the trees 🙁