- 6 years ago
(Trying to cut a long story short)
My Grandma-ma is the most important person in the world to me. She isn’t the wealthiest but has savings and I feel like my family especialy my cousins use her as a bank.
Me and my Gran are VERY close, despite being 300 miles away. I phone her every 3 nights and wright to her weekly. I ALWAYS remember her birthday and no matter how low I am for money I always get her a christmas gift.
When I can get to see my family, I make sure my SO drives her to the markets to make sure she has everything she needs and we keep her company all the time.
My Gran is very giving when it comes to money and always helps her family out. But I feel my cousins are taking the mick. One has borrowed 5k for her house, another has “Borrowed” 10k for his house and is only making back £100 a month when he and his wife make plenty to pay back more.
I have borrowed money also I have borrowed 1k for my University and 1k for our house. Everytime I have tried to pay her back she won’t allow it. Saying that because I had every intention to pay her back and the fact I never asked for the loan (she insisted).
What annoys me is my cousins who have borrowed 15k between them can’t even send her a birthday card on her birthday. They borrow huge ammounts of money and then can’t be bothered with her. They couldn’t even give her a phone call on her 60th. I am SO angry and can not forgive them but my worry is am I in a position to be mad? Yes I have borrowed money off her also, but not the amounts they have.
Ok I havn’t paid it back, I have tried sending checks but she sends them back. I love my Gran to pieces and make sure she knows how much I care about her. I never asked for a loan when I was in need of one. I can’t help but feel that they put her in an awful position to ask for the amount they did and then make little or no payment back and then have the nerve to not even call her or thank her. EVEN ON HER BIRTHDAY.
I worry because I have no idea if I have any “right” to be annoyed. I know she wants payment off them as she has told me so. What annoys me further is they live 10 minutes away from her and they only visit when they want something. I see her more and I live over 4 hours away and I don’t drive (they do).
Now I have just found out another cousin has got engaged and is planning on asking my Gran for a loan…. but couldn’t even pick up the phone to tell her she was engaged.
I am worried they are taking advantage of her kind nature but I needed advice on whether I am just as bad. I was going to talk to her about it and say that it’s completely up to her to loan money but before hand she needs to make agreement with said person the paying back process. But would I be a complete hippocrite because I have borrowed money and not paid back? Don’t get me wrong I really want to give her the money but she refuses. I have offered to take her away on holiday as a Thank-you but she didn’t want to leave her cat at home. (She is incredibly caring), me and my SO have bought her a huge £300 bird bath which she ADORES and cares for all animals. We did as a thank-you, I’m not tring to justify my not-paying back but simply express how I want to pay her back. Do I have a right to try and talk to my Gran about this? Please advice people xx