- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2012
I’ve been trying my best to be optimistic and lower expectations of our loved ones so I don’t melt down as often, it’s just so hard sometimes.
We’re staying with my mom since we live out of state, and I feel like we’ve been here for a month instead of 2 weeks. I miss our place so much, but we had to fly here almost a month before the wedding for my bridal shower that my mom threw, my bachelorette party, and fiance’s job interview.
It’s pretty well-agreed that my mom has ADD and OCD. She likes how she is and that’s good, but it just makes it very hard to spend more than a few days with her. Everything has to be put back in it’s place to the point where she couldn’t bring herself to clear out the guest rooms so her sister could have a bed to sleep in after she came in from an international flight. We offer to help but no one understand her organization method. Needless to say she’s staying at another sibling’s because my mom drove her and my grandma crazy and they were all complaining about each other. My mom literally has me stay up until past 1AM unless everything is in order according to her. Sometimes she’ll vacuum at 2 and 6 in the morning.
My mom’s happy voice sounds like yelling, her angry voice sounds like yelling, and so on…so it can get tiring. She shrieks a lot at people and that’s just how she is. Future Mother-In-Law is like that too.
And now…Future Mother-In-Law is telling my fiance to try to get his dad to not attend the wedding (he is also out of state) because apparently he’s not doing very well health wise. Apparently his drug and alcohol use has spiraled again and he just cannot get it together. Everyone thinks he should be in rehab or a home, but he’ll never do it. All this after Future Mother-In-Law bugged fiance to include and get his dad to go to the wedding. Future Father-In-Law has not called fiance back in weeks even though he keeps telling Future Mother-In-Law that he will. Fiance is confused and very let down. I always have to tell him, and he has to tell me to not expect too much from parents because they always let us down somehow, but it gets tiring for both of us to be realistic like that. It’s so frustrating, fiance has been leaving his dad voicemail after voicemail and then his dad tells Future Mother-In-Law that he does call but he hasn’t left us a message. He’s ignoring his son and I can tell that he’s crushed about it.
And both our moms talk so much garbage about the rest of our families, whether it’s my side, his side or their own side. It’s so annoying how judgmental and hypocritical they can be and they also pile guilt trips on both of us, which we try to reflect as much as possible. After recently seeing my mom around my grandma I can see how it influenced my mom as a mother but it just sucks. You can really tell my grandma and most of her siblings don’t like her.
We also chose to fly here instead of drive because my aunt begged me to not drive again (it’s over a 12 hr drive), but now we feel stranded and either have to walk, take the bus, or wait for someone to be free to take us somewhere so we can take care of wedding things. My mom hasn’t offered to take us anywhere apart from Michael’s so we could get more decorations which I feel like we don’t need but she keeps insisting that we do. This wouldn’t bother me if my mom didn’t constantly say things like, “you have to have program, all weddings have a program,” “you need a ceremony arch,” etc. How does she think I’m going to get those things done?
I’m so happy my bachelorette party is on Friday…seriously my mom’s idea of fun is cleaning all night. When I told her I collapsed last night (I got dizzy and fell on the floor), she didn’t seem to care…she seems to have a really hard time empathizing with others or something.