Post # 1
I’ve been on Weddinbee for quite a while and I had a blast looking at all the pics and the fantastic DIY projects but I never thought I would actually post anything. Well, Christmas has changed my mind.
We went to my Dad’s for Christmas and even though my family is very quirky (read:weird!) and has a real love for rude jokes, it’s normally a fun event. We were 7 people (Dad, aunt, cousins, cousin’s boyfriend, fiancé and me) and it took my aunt about 5 minutes before she touched on my family’s favourite subject – FH’s last name. Not that his name is superweird but he’s American (I’m German) and his last name pronounced in a German way is the name of a cheese…They made fun of his name for about an hour (I’m not kidding! An hour! They were extremely inventive!!! ) and didn’t seem to notice that it had stopped being harmless bantering for him and me. When I addressed the issue and asked them to stop, my Dad told me that if I couldn’t cope with a few jokes, he probably shouldn’t come to my wedding. He repeated that about 10 times (harmless bantering?!Pleeeease!) and I got so mad that we left fairly early.
Now I know that my Dad really meant it as a joke (did I mention the quirky part?), I feel very insulted and I’m not sure what to do. Should I just let it go (the jokes about my possible future last name and the not going to show up for my wedding part) or should I address the issue? What do you think, bee hive?
Post # 3
I understand how grating family can be, but honestly? The most you can do is say you’d appreciate it if they respected you and your Fiance enough to stop when asked. That’s pretty much all you can do, without turning this into something it doesn’t have to be.
I wouldn’t turn this into a “confrontation” or anything if your family is normally like this, and it probably was funny. I can’t imagine it being funny forever because, well, they need more funny things in their lives if it is, right? Lol. I’d just address it on more of a blanket statement level – re: the respecting it when you guys request they do or say “that’s enough.” Just point out that since it IS going to be your new last name, you don’t want to associate it all the time with the things they say to be funny.
Post # 4
You’re probably right, it shouldn’t turn into more than it is but I’m already not quite sure whether I should take his name or not – and that evening didn’t help at all. It just upset me that they didn’t stop when asked and I want to make sure I won’t have to listen to all these jokes again…preferably not at my wedding. Also, it could be very insulting for FH’s family.
I could also just serve the cheese at the reception.
Post # 5
@Ivy81: 1. I so would serve the cheese at the reception. Like saying, “Yeah, we get it, not that funny.” :p
2. I do definitely think you should set some ground rules. Like I said earlier, just address the respecting when you guys ask them to stop. To me, it sets the ground rules for later on things, like kids or how you run your household, things like that. It’s important that they get that.
Post # 6
oooh my concern is kids, and how mean kids are about names! ahhh I hope you and your Fiance can find some humor or get to a nutral place as your kids will probably receive the same bantar in school.