(Closed) Family, Guest List Drama – long, sorry

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
1779 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think you should invite them all.  And if anyone does not want to come, just smile in your mind and be grateful for it.  You do not want to cause unneccessary drama from the start.  Unless there are cases of being totally abusive, it is probably best to be the better person and invite them all.  If someone comes up to you or calls you complaining, simple say “I am sorry you will be not able to share my special day with me, but I look forward to seeing you at *insert family event here*”  Then take a breath and don’t let it bother you ๐Ÿ™‚

 

Best of luck!

Post # 4
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

My goodness! What an uncle. He sounds pretty irrational. Yes, I think he was out of line. My mom is inviting all the relatives. Sigh. Invite who your parents say so, if they’re paying. Hopefully Mr. Uncle will mature a little before your wedding.

Post # 5
Member
457 posts
Helper bee

We are in a similar situation. My family is paying for our reception. My parents have very large families and we are all very close. There is about 80 of us and we all see each other often.  Aunts, Uncles, cousins were invited; however, the younger cousins were not, even though we are all close. If we invited ALL cousins m family list would be over 100+, our families are okay with this. In our family as kids get older that is when you get invited to such weddings. I didn’t get invited to my first family wedding until I was about 25. However, for my FI, his mother comes from a very large family, he is not close with most of them, hasn’t seen cousins or some Aunt and Uncles in many years , wasn’t invited to any of his cousins wedding. Because there are 13 siblings on his mothers side, and finically we didn’t want to go over budget, we opted to only invite the Aunts and Uncles. His mother flipped out, we compromised and said we would invite ADULT cousins. She still had a cow with it; however, she didn’t offer to help finically with ANYTHING. My FI Aunts and Uncles are now mad that their younger children were not invited and now won’t be coming. Frankly, I don’t care, if they can’t come because their kids weren’t invited then I don’t want them there and they are coming for the wrong reasons. I think it’s VERY rude for people to get made and angry and do stupid stuff as to even make an issue out of an invite. They have no say in that and people should feel HONORED they got invited, not be rude and disrespectful and have the nerve to be pissed off.  If people care so much then they should work harder in keeping closer relationships and being a part of your life, that’s my take on it. I want people at my wedding that I am close with, that want to spend the day with me, and that I know in 10 years I am still going to be close with in involved in each others lives. I think just because your family doesn’t give someone a free pass to get an invite. My FI was never close with his family and is the first to say that most of his friends are more like his family, so it was important for us to include those kinds of people. 

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