Post # 1
A month ago or so I posted that I was on the verge of being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. Well, it is somewhat true – my doctor is treating me for it even though my labs came back normal. I am improving and things are starting to look good. I’m moving better, starting to look at wedding venues, etc..
Over the past month though, some things happened to my parents. My dad had a MRI since he was complaining about some hearing loss. The doctors saw something in the MRI but are not sure what. He had something similar 15 years ago, and it ended up being nothing. The problem is that he nor the hospital has the records. He is going to see an ear, nose, and throat doctor this week, but we’re praying it is nothing.
Now here is the whammy – my mother just got news today that she has breast cancer. We do not have any other information yet other than the test is positive. I have never been so truly scared (worse than dealing with RA). I keep on thinking, should I have the wedding (even though it’s 2 years away), is it worth it, will there be money, etc.?
I am not sure how I am going to cope with all the stress. I called my work’s Employee Assistance Program, and they are having me see someone Thursday night. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Should I cancel, should I not? I’m supposed to look at another venue tonight and have no clue what to do.
Post # 3
@Cluelessbride10: Definitely see someone through your EAP! I would hold off planning just until you get more information. I’ve gotten some “bad” news about my parents’ health, that turned out not to be as bad as we all assumed. You don’t know– so sort that part out first, then move forward. *hugs*
Post # 4
@love108: Thanks! My mom is like this wedding is still happening and life has to move on. She actually wants to keep busy. She is seeing a surgeon on Friday so hopefully we will have more information soon. The doctor said she has “intermediate” cancer? We have no clue what that means. Even my pharmacist sister had no clue what she was talking about! No one can even feel the tumor so at least that is good.
Post # 5
@Cluelessbride10: My dad is ill and we had to change our wedding plans around. We aren’t changing the timing, just the location. It is nearly impossible to plan for unknowns because you just don’t know! I know how hard it is – I spent weeks in the hospital with my dad, just sitting there while he slept. It was the worst time of my life. But you still have to live your life for you and try to stay upbeat. Easier said than done, I know. PM me if you want to talk.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@Cluelessbride10: So glad you are engaging EAP! So many employees don’t know or refuse to engage EAP and it’s such a great service during times of stress. If it’s not arthritis, have you been assessed for Lupus? A lot of Lupus sufferers have arthritic symptoms. I hope your mom and dad get positive news in the coming days and months. Breast cancer can definitely be beat these, especially if it’s caught early.
Post # 7
My mother had breast cancer… Twice. the big C word is not as scary as it once was with all the advances in medicine thankfully. To me “intermediate” does not sound like the oncologist or the surgeon think it is too bad. I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts. I hope you hear back that it is not as bad as you fear. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.
Post # 8
@MrsPanda99: Thanks! We are keeping the wedding local so that should not be an issue. I was thinking more about money/support, but my mom told me yesterday to keep going. She even said that venue visits, etc. are helping her keep busy and keep her mind off it.
We will have more information soon hopefully. We don’t think it’s that bad. My dad is taking it the hardest I think because his mom died from breast cancer in the late 70s. I told him that a lot of advancements have occured, and there is a good chance my mom will get over this.
@beachbride1216: They did test me for lupus and everything came back negative. I was started on Plaquenil, and I am improving slowly but surely. It may also be psoriatic arthritis. I have a rare skin condition called pityriasis rubra pilaris (PRP), and it can cause arthritis. It is an autoimmune skin condition that has been related to rheumatic diseases. At this point, it is a matter of figuring out which one. The neat thing is that since I started the pill is that my skin is improving. 🙂
Thank you all for the support. It is scary right now, but hopefully we’ll have more information soon. They’re talking lumpectomy so we will know what is occuring on Friday more.
Post # 10
For some reason, the site won’t post, but here it is:
My mother went to the surgeon today, and it is looking good. She is in Clinical Stage 1 (the lump is about 6 mm) which is a good thing. She’s having a lumpectomy in about two weeks potentially followed by radiation. Chemo is not out of the picture, chances for that are pretty small. The doctor says she should be in remission after it is done.
Post # 11
I can relate to this. My list of medical problems seems to be never ending, and the same goes for some of my closest family members. We all try our best to embrace the time that we have now and be thankful for every single day. Some days, that’s more difficult than others, but you don’t get this time back. Think about the future and plans, but not so much that you miss out on what you have right now. I wish you and your family the best.
My aunt has had breast cancer twice. We actually just had another scare last month. Medicine is so advanced now, and the word intermediate makes it sound manageable.
The results you guys get shouldn’t keep you from planning your wedding. I know that adds more stress, but it’s good to maintain normalcy. My family and I have taken the same stance as your mother. Just keep going. When we stop doing stuff and are no longer distracted, our condition seems to worsen. I don’t honestly think that it does, but it allows for us to feel worse about our situation. For us, it’s good to try to stay as normal as possible. I wish you and your family all of the luck that I possibly can.