Post # 1
So I am trying to decide on all the small details of our wedding. I have got all of the big stuff done. I am just needing advice on how to handle my other family members input on things. I pick something for a centerpiece and run it by my mom. She thinks having real flower centerpieces are ‘ridiculous’ and ‘wasteful’ because you can’t do anything with them afterward. I have never been the one to speak up and I am now putting my foot down when I don’t like a suggestion. Its been really difficult trying to plan this wedding from afar. I just feel like I don’t have any support from anyone back home to help me with ideas. I am unable to travel home because of the distance and the time it takes to get there. I’m frustrated and I want to take control of our wedding even though I am far away.I just want supprt and not to be put down for every idea i come up with. Its been stressful. MY SO has been awesome and so supportive. Just needed some advice from fellow bees how to handle this situation. Thanks in advance.
Post # 3
Well I don’t know about advice but I’m kind of in the same situation. I’ve posted about this before but my mom is getting divorced from my stepdad so she’s all negative and uninterested in the wedding, FMIL is also uninterested (only FI’s grandmother asked about the wedding at all when we were at the house for Easter, so that made me feel like crap) and my dad and stepmom are also out in lala land. I have been told to view this as a “good thing” so I can have “free range” and do what I want, but it just seems like no one is excited, or taking my wedding seriously.
Honestly, if it was me in your shoes, I would just stop running the ideas by (which is what I have done with my mother). If she asks, I say something vague. If she was to press for details (again, no one has), I would just say very clearly “well, FH and I have already decided to do X.” If she complains after that, simply say “I’ll take that into consideration” then promptly discard that info from your brain and change the subject. Good luck to ya!
Post # 4
You can tell your mom it won’t go to waste – I intend to give my centerpieces away after the reception so they don’t wind up in the trash, and so people can still enjoy them awhile longer!
As far as advice, I had to do this with my sister – she loves planning with me, but gets offended when I don’t like her ideas. So I had to start refusing in a calm and nice way, like “I appreciate your advice and would love to look at your suggestions for bridesmaid dresses, but I need you to respect my opinion when I say that something doesn’t match the general look I’m going for. Can I show you some pictures of what I’m looking for?”
Hope that helps!
Post # 5
Thanks for the advice. It is much appreciated! Its tough planning from afar but I know I can i do it!