Family inviting themselves to stay at my house – help!

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
373 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@emviamama:  I would just tell her that with all the wedding craziness going on, you won’t be able to host any guests. Simple and true. 

Post # 4
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

Just write back:   Dear So and so, I’m so sorry, but there really won’t be room to accomodate you here at that time. I’d love to have you all for dinner or whatever…….. Can’t wait to see you! Love, ….

No need to go into details or be overly apologetic. Just say no nicely. I wouldn’t bother stressing over it.

Post # 5
1613 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@emviamama:  prahajess gave you a great response. It’s what Miss Jeanine, the Etiquette maven, calls having a “polite spine”.

Even though she is your sister, she is STILL  a stranger. Your home is your personal sanctuary. It is perfectly fine to protect it and not allow presumptious people to come stay.

Post # 6
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

“No, sorry. There are rooms available at the nearby hotel which we blocked and got a special rate, you may want to check there.”

There is no need to be diplomatic – what she did was INCREDIBLY rude.

I wouldn’t even invite her over for dinner – aren’t I ALREADY hosting a big, expensive dinner she’s invited to!!?

Post # 7
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Glad you’re saying no!

I’d also say something like “Things are going to be super busy during the week before the wedding, so we won’t be able to host you! But I hope we’ll be able to get together for dinner while you’re here!”

Post # 9
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@emviamama:  I have been in the exact same position we got married in Mexico and my in Laws invited themselves to my parents house.

You can do lots of things.

1 arrange discounts with hotels close to the venue.

2 Ask your friends and relatives to help

Dont get upset and dont see it as people you are estranged to. Think about it as people who want to get closer to you and want to share your beautiful wedding with them. And good idea about the dinner it try a non expensive restaurant so you wont have to add stress to your already busy schedule

Post # 10
2047 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@emviamama:  DO NOT……. LOL…. I had family stay with us the week of and it was nothing but stressful. (let alone ppl you barely know). tell her you’ve already commited to some people staying…just “sorry, but we already have a full house”

Post # 12
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@emviamama:  Just reply “I’m so sorry, but staying at our house just won’t be possible.  There are a number of affordable hotels in the area such as X and X.  I hope you will still be able to come, I would love to meet you.  Please feel free to contact me if I can answer any questions about any local hotels.”

If she replies asking you to reconsider, be a broken record: “I’m so sorry, its just not possible.”  You do not owe her an explanation for why its not possible – it just isn’t.  Don’t let her put you on the defensive or make you feel you need to justify your decision.  You don’t.  

It was pretty ballsy to even ask – especially so since you’ve never even met her!  If she pursues this or gets angry, she is the one being inappropriate so don’t let her bad behavior make you feel awkward or guilty.  

Post # 13
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@emviamama:  Good for you!  I think you made the right call.

Post # 14
2992 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I would simply state there is either not enough room or that with all the wedding preparations, that you simply can not handle guests. I would prehaps offer to help them find suitable hotels in the area if need be. Its your house and you get to decide who gets to stay there.

Post # 15
6073 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

@emviamama:  I had this!  First it was my mom, then my sister and her boyfriend and their FOUR children all wanted to stay. I had to say no in the end.  My mom was pissed at me.  Oh well.  It was the start of all her evil drama actually. 

However, that wedding was all cancelled for other reasons (my dad was dying).

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