Family inviting themselves

posted 2 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
812 posts
Busy bee

Do you have a really big immediate family to have 50 people or are the majority friends? I can understand about not inviting cousins and such, especially if you are not close, but it seems to me that not inviting aunts and uncles is a little strange…. But maybe my family dynamic is different. You can either explain why they weren’t invited or use the “Due to lack of space” speech and not explain anything. Good luck and congrats on the wedding. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 3 months ago by  Shoot4theMoon.
Post # 5
812 posts
Busy bee

Sfcali:  That is a tough call. If he wants to repair the relationship, you might have to suck it up. But if he could care less and it won’t cause issues within the immediate family (FMIL/FFIL) for aunts not to be invited, I’d go with the limited space speech and follow up with “I hope can get together soon, blah blah blah”. 

Post # 6
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Sfcali:  Also, if you let her and her people come, then the rest will want to come, opening the floodgates (maybe not all of them, but somebody!) and there will actually be hurt feelings because the rule didn’t apply to everyone. How many other aunts and uncles and cousins are there? You might want to consider that before you make a move.

Why does she even want to be there? She doesn’t sound like she’s supportive of your family. 

Post # 7
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

If she refused to meet you in the past, I think you’re ok just saying no. Obviously then the relationship would be beyond repairing, but maybe in this case your FI doesn’t care? That’s up to him.

Post # 8
45 posts

Its your wedding, you should invite ONLY who you are comfortable with surrounding you on that special day. It seems like you picked those important people and invited them. I would have your fiance let the aunt know politely that there is only room for 50 people therefore she is not invited and you sincerly hope she is not offended. She will get over it! It sounds to me like she shouldn’t be invited anyway because the way she has treated you is down right rude. You and your child deserve to be cherished, not looked down upon!



Post # 9
42101 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

It doesn’t matter what happened in the past, you are under no obligation to extend invitations to people rude enough to phone and demand one. And not only one- but 15-20! Every couple has to cut off their guest list somewhere and you did just that. Your FI needs to support the decsion that the two of you made to limit the guest list due to the capacity of your backyard.

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