Post # 1
My extended family (grandparents, aunt, and cousins) is so against my wedding and it makes me so upset. I just need to vent. My grandparents, despite being married for 65 years, are so against weddings. They believe marriage will ruin your life (kids even more so), but they really hate weddings. They would have been okay if I got married at the courthouse, but they can’t stand the fact that I’m having an actual wedding. They like my fiancé just fine (this has nothing to do with him), but since I announced my wedding, they have been so mean.
I just found out that my grandparents aren’t getting me a Christmas present this year as “punishment” for having a wedding. They said that if I hadn’t spent all my money in the wedding (which, I’m not even paying for actually but I refuse to discuss money with them) I could by my own presents. It’s just so mean.
Everytime they hear a wedding detail, they yell at me. For example, I live four hours away from them. The wedding isn’t in my home town, but thirty minutes from there, which means they have to drive 4.5 hours, rather than four. My grandfather yelled at me for picking such a far away spot and said they won’t go unless I move it. Another example, one of my bridesmaids misspelled my aunts name on the save the date on accident and my family truly believes I did it to insult them. They also called me stupid because they claim the URL or my wedding website is wrong, which it’s not.
I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. They are cruel people. When my mom got pregnant with me, they stopped speaking with her til I was five because she would get an abortion ( she was 32, married, and both of my parents had good jobs- it’s not like she was a teen mom or something). They can be really nice too (paid for my college and I live with them for two years as an undergrad) and I really love them. It just hurts to know the second you go against their wishes, you get treated like this.
Thanks for reading. I just needed to vent. This whole thing has really put a damper on my engagement 🙁
Post # 3
Wow, I know they’re your family, but if they’re so against the wedding, do you really want them there? It sounds like you might have a better time if only supportive people show up on the day.
Post # 4
@grapecrush: My Mom-Mom wasn’t too fond of my wedding (not nearly as harsh as yours though). Everytime I spoke with her it wasn’t something new – i.e. “Why can’t you just do it in your parents’ backyard?” or “Why are you spending so much money, that’s ridiculous” or “It costs HOW MUCH per plate?” It didn’t take long to realize I had to stop talking details with her.
Old people are set in their ways and you aren’t going to change them, so don’t bother. DO NOT discuss the wedding with them. Send them an invite when the time comes. If they decline… “Too bad Nana and Papa, we’ll miss you.”
Old people annoy me sometimes. I hope I’m not a crotchety old curmudgeon when I’m old.
Post # 5
You sound like you are close to them…have you asked why they are so against your getting married?
Post # 8
What the heck? I don’t get it. if they are so against weddings and children, then why did they get married and have children themselves? They sound like they were good to you while you were in college, so they can’t be soooo bad. I just don’t get why they’d be so upset with your mom and why they are being this cruel with you. Have they ever been cruel like this with you before?
Post # 9
This is the weirdest thing I’ve heard. Most grandparents are pushing for marriage and babies. That’s what older people tend to value. Wanting their 32 year old married daughter to get an abortion?? Why? Where are you from, is there some sort of cultural thing I’m missing? If not, they sound certifiably insane.
Post # 10
Sounds like they’re confused.
Post # 11
Wow. sucks that they are both hell bent on spending the rest of their lives making people they supposedly love unhappy. Point taken, they don’t like weddings. It’s one day, get over it grandma/grandpa! why are they so wrapped up in details so much if they hate the whole concept? They sound very immature, unhappy and manipulative. Ugh.