- 4 years ago
- Wedding: October 2013
When we first started planning out wedding, I didn’t think it would bother me if none of my extended family came (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc.). I’m not especially close with any of them, though my mother is. My mom is the oldest of five siblings, the only girl, and has maintained good relationships with her brothers and their families, especially now that their parents are deceased. My mom hosted every holiday (because no one else offered) when I was growing up, until my family moved a few hours away. She babysit their kids (they never babysat us), gifted them at holidays, gave them money when they were going through rough-patches. They all still call her, just to chat, on a regular basis.
Now we are approaching our deadline (less than two weeks) and almost all the outstanding RSVPs are my mother’s brothers (and families). Not one single one has RSVP’d. Initially, two of her brothers said they’d make it for sure, the other two were on the fence. Now the two that said they were likely to come are dragging their feet, saying that they may not “feel well enough” because of chronic heart conditions to make the drive (a couple hours).
My mom is devasted and has talked with each of them about it repeatedly. One of her brothers even implied that it was not worth him driving his family to the wedding if the other brothers couldn’t be bothered to do the same. My mom gets extremely depressed and anxious when she even thinks about it, and all I can do is keep pretending that it doesn’t bother me and she shouldn’t worry about it.
But it is starting to bother me. My father has a very small family who are both attending. We all live in the same province and they have known about the wedding for almost a year. None of them have small children to be concerned about, there are no family rifts or divisive fights. I don’t think any will end up coming and my mom has said that she will never be able to forgive them for not coming just because they don’t “feel like it”.
I guess I’m not really looking for advice, I just can’t tell anyone about this because the slightest whisper throws my mom into a panick, and while FI is supportive, his family is all coming so I don’t think he’s fazed by it.