(Closed) Family is ruining my wedding!

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

OK, long post, but my take on it:

 

Your mom is the person she is. It’s not worth your energy or heartache to wish she were someone different., It sounds like she’s deeply ambivalent about your wedding, and she’s doing a shitty job of stepping up and being supportive and helpful. But… that’s who she is right now. She’s doing the absolute best that she can – it just isn’t very good. It will be so much easier for you if you just accept that instead of fighting it and her.

 

Instead, include the people around you who are good at being supportive. It sounds like your best friend is one of those people. There are probably others as well. Instead of including the people whom you think you’re supposed to, include the people that you believe will lift you up.

 

For background: I didn’t include my mom in dress shopping, bridesmaid dress shopping, cake tasting, venue choosing… any of it. She’s highly critical and while she thinks she would have liked to be involved, I knew she wouldn’t be able to participate in a helpful way. That’s just whole she is.

Also, nice dress. It will be lovely.

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