Post # 1
We are having a small, outdoor, informal wedding. I have a very simple dress, wearing some pretty silver flip-flops. Fiance is wearing khaki linen pants, a white button-down with the sleeves cuffed, no tie, casual boat shoes. His son (6) has a matching shirt & khaki shorts. Our girls are wearing very simple linen dresses.
The problem I’m having is my parents and my brother are not catching on to the casual feel we’re going for. We’re not having a reception, just taking everyone to a nice dinner & having a cake. But, my dad is convinced he needs to wear a tie & formal shirt. My brother is wanting to wear a suit! I was able to convice my mom to get a really pretty sundress that can go either way & we found the perfect accessories. But, I don’t want the guys to be so dressed up. Especially since we (bride & groom) won’t be!!
How to I convey to them that I don’t want them showing up in suits & ties and being out of place? I just want them to wear khakis & a fairly casual shirt.
The very worst part is, our family is NOT formal, by any means of the imagination. My brother does wear suits for work, but generally has very good taste in casual clothing. But, my dad is a jeans & t-shirt kind of guy!
Post # 3
Do your dad and brother know exactly what your fiance will be wearing? I wouldn’t think they would want to be more formally dressed than the groom. I would just come out and say that it would make you and your fiance uncomfortable and it isn’t necessary for them to wear suits and ties.
Post # 4
Let it go–they’ll be the ones looking silly if they’re overdressed, not you and your hubby. I’d mention it casually, maybe as a joke, but the sad truth is, you can’t tell people what to wear. =/
Post # 5
I would let them know what your Fiance is going to be wearing and maybe suggest something a little more casual for them. But I wouldn’t push your dad too much, I think in most cases your parents always want to look super nice out of respect for you and Fiance and to show how much they care/are happy for you, hence why a jeans and t-shirt kind of dad would dress out of his normal comfort zone.
Post # 6
If your dad and brother want to wear suits – let them! Make sure they know that you and Fiance won’t be as formally dressed and they are welcome to go more causal. The nice thing about suits is they are instantly more casual as soon as the jacket comes off.
Post # 7
Include them more in the details and show them pictures, the dress, the restaurant, etc.,. Sometimes the older ones need visuals to get it. My first Christmas at my house we were in khakis and sweaters and my Dad showed up like we were going to Easter Sunday at Church. Black patent leather wingtips and cufflinks, tie, the whole thing. He didn’t get it until everyone else showed up. They were uncomfortable and his face was red!
Post # 8
If your dad and brother feel out of place, they can always take off the ties and jacket… its easy for men. I wouldn’t worry about it at all. My friends had a beach wedding with the groom and all the groomsmen wearing hawaiian shirts and khakis, and male guests wore ties and jackets. No one looked out of place, except for the kid wearing washed khaki cargo shorts and dirty white sneakers… better too much than too little…
Post # 9
I’d just let them. My Dad was dead-set on wearing a black tux, even though the groomsmen were wearing gray suits. He looked so handsome! It’s better to be overdressed than underdressed, in my opinion.