- 4 years ago
Hello bees! I want to apologize in advance for such a long post, but I feel that it’s necessary to make sure my situation is clear.
I want to hear everyone’s thoughts on a situation I’ve found myself in. First I want to state that this is not, in my mind, something that is going to ruin my wedding or something to freak out over. However, I can tell that this is bothering FH so I was wondering what someone outside of the situation thought about this.
FH and I knew from the moment we got engaged that we would have a fall wedding. The colors, the cool weather, the comfort food. Its our favorite season. We found the perfect venue (a large barn-like reception hall in the country but still 3 miles outside of town with hotels, restaurants, etc.) We set the date for November of next year and were starting to get really excited and telling our family and close friends.
FH is the middle child in his family and has two brothers; one older and one younger. His older brother is married with two boys who are going to be our ring bearers. His younger brother is in college and is going to be 21 when we get married. FH and his family have always been very loving and close, and they have accepted me and loved me to no end. It goes without saying that FH would have his brothers as his groomsmen. However, his younger brother told us that he would most likely not be able to come to the ceremony, because it will be football season, and he will most likely have a game. At first I couldn’t believe it! Who would miss their brother’s wedding to play college football? He will be a junior at the time of our wedding, and he is a very good player. He goes to a very small liberal arts school (about 4,000 students), where football is obviously a favorite sport, but it’s not life and death like it is at larger universities.
However, the more I think about it, I realize that it would be unfair of me to demand that he miss the game to come to the wedding. It’s very important to him, and I understand that he wouldn’t want to let his team down. As soon as the game is done, he will shower and get ready and come to the reception. It makes me sad that he will be missing the ceremony and won’t be in some of the pictures, but there’s nothing I can do about it. We will end up with an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen at the end of the night, but its not a big deal to me. As long as everyone has fun and no one gets too drunk, I’ll be happy.
The big issue I have with this is that I think it really hurt FH’s feelings that his little brother is choosing football over coming to our ceremony. I think it’s bothering him more than he lets on. As we plan more of the details, I can tell that FH is sad that his little brother wont be there to see him get married. It makes me sad to see him hurting like this, but I think he’s afraid to push the issue. I don’t want them to get angry with each other over it…
What do you guys think?