Post # 1
Where do I begin? I grew up in the projects. Didn’t really have a dad (he would come around twice a year or so and take me to taco bell-until I was about 13 then never saw him again) my mom was young when she had me and a severe alcoholic- therefore my grandma raised me. Well fast forward 20 years. I finished school, finished college, and have a cozy little life in the burbs. My grandma passed in 2010. My mom calls every now and then. We don’t have the best of relationships, but phone calls are a start. I have a friend that works in the court system. I had her look up my dad. Turns out he had a court date that very next week-so I took a vacation day and went. Surprisingly he recognized me. Invited me over. I met my brother (SMALL WORLD- My brother plays football with my fiancé) and various other family members. Well he drank and drank and drank. My “dad” turns out is also an alcoholic. Started telling me about how he used to pistol whip “******” for fun. And then his dog started acting up barking and almost bit me. Well he started threatening that he would shoot the dog dead in the head and told my fiancé he would slap Jesus off the cross if he ever thought about crossing him. WTF right!? Needless to say, I left, and never went back. Ok. Now I’m getting married. My fiance’s 2 brothers are in the wedding and asked my brother to be in the wedding. So… I don’t care for my mom but she wants to come to the wedding- should I? I don’t care for my dad and I can’t have him snapping out at my wedding but I know my brother will probably tell him- should I invite him?
Post # 3
Well, There is alot going on here for sure.
I think that your brother being apart of the wedding is great. It would be nice for the 2 of you to be able to build a relationship outside of your parents.
As far as your parents are concerned, they have issues that they need to work out for themselves, they are adults and they can handle it. I would sit down with each one of them seperately and let them know about your wedding plans and then decide if you want to include them. From what I read, it sounds like your more concerned with how your Dad would act vs. your Mom. Be truthful with them on how you feel about it all and take it from there.
Hugs and hope it all works out for you
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2016 - Beck Rec center
i have a wild ass family as well and to be honest I would extend the invitation with clear guidelines because irregardless of how shitty they are they are yours (thats my motto)
Post # 5
I have a piss poor relationship w/ my father but I did invite him because my Mom and siblings wore me down. He was on good behaviour since he rarely gets invited to family events. And because he was acting right, he was even allowed to give a speech. Now, he did try to turn the speech into a family issue, but my gurl nipped it.
Personally, I would invite your brother. If you guys get along, then that’s great. I would only invite your parents if you want to but not because of obligation. If you decide to invite your Mom, decide how you want to incorporate her into your wedding. My father was hurt I didn’t want him to walk me down the aisle.(Truth be told, I never wanted anyone to walk me down the aisle) If you don’t want any drama, I wouldn’t invite your Dad. I know your brother may tell him but be honest, he hasn’t been prominent in your life and you don’t care for him. Its about you and your FI, not family drama.
Hugs!!! I know its a tough decision but live w/ whatever you decide.
Post # 6
@squeak35: YOU’RE RIGHT! My brother will be there, he in the wedding. thanks! btw, i DOUBLE HEART troy palomalu.
Post # 7
Original Poster my heart goes out to you. You should be SO PROUD of yourself for staying so positive, strong and focused on meeting your goals and dreams. I think you should think twice about inviting your dad. He was very rude to your fiance and doesn’t deserve the honor of walking you down the aisle- he didn’t raise you. Do you even trust him to act appropriately? I wouldn’t.
Post # 8
@Keisha In Love: Thanks sister! He did NOT raise me. My grand(momma) did RIP. For the sake of my sanity I’ve decided to NOT invite my dad. If my brother brings it up he brings it up but he most definitely won’t get the invite. I’ll throw it out there for my mom, but she’s working on DUI #4 I think and possibly won’t have a ride- her loss. I just don’t want to mix oil with water by having the both of them there though. i’ve gotten through the my first 30 years on earth without them there at bdays, graduations, etc… WHY should this be any differently. They weren’t thinking about me, i’m not gonna look back on them. keeping it moving!
Post # 9
HELL FREAKING NO. This guy is a stranger and crazy drunk one do not invite him to the wedding. Also it
s weird and rude that you Fis brothers are inviting other people to be in your wedding, while he is your
t really know him. I say if you want to get ot know him better invite him as a guest. Call him and tell him because of Dads behavior, drinking, court dates, plain nutjobness you dont want him there. Then the ball is in your brothers court to decide if he will come or not. Also have your FI give his brothers a big talking too, that was not only rude but put you in a weird situation.
Post # 10
@TwoCityBride: thanks! Yeah, the dad is definitely OUT. My brother and I actually have a pretty good relationship. We hang out for birthdays and other get togethers. so it’s really nice. I went from an only child to having a sibling. it’s pretty cool. I don’t mind that my brother is in the wedding- I would love him in it. BUT my brother is young, a good 10years. the wedding is actually on his birthday- turns out he’s inviting people. like his friends to come party. which i normally wouldnt have a problem with except our reception space is VERY SMALL and he’s not footing the food bill. So i gotta shut that down.
and whats up with your font? lol.
Post # 11
Sorry about the text sometimes wedding bee does that to my writing I still can’t figure out why it does that lol. What is it with these guys?? They probably have no clue how much money and planning and goes into a weddings or they wouldn’t be inviting random guest. I’m glad you shut that down! Good luck at your wedding!
Post # 12
It is good that you and your brother can have a relationship outside your father because maybe this will give you guys a chance to have a healthy family relationship. As for you mom and dad, not sure. That is something you should pray on and do what you decide. No one can make you feel bad about not inviting them and giving them this moment when they haven’t been there. Good luck!