(Closed) family issues.

posted 6 years ago in African-American
Post # 3
Member
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Well, There is alot going on here for sure.

 

I think that your brother being apart of the wedding is great. It would be nice for the 2 of you to be able to build a relationship outside of your parents.

 

As far as your parents are concerned, they have issues that they need to work out for themselves, they are adults and they can handle it. I would sit down with each one of them seperately and let them know about your wedding plans and then decide if you want to include them. From what I read, it sounds like your more concerned with how your Dad would act vs. your Mom. Be truthful with them on how you feel about it all and take it from there.

 

Hugs and hope it all works out for you

 

Post # 4
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Beck Rec center

i have a wild ass family as well and to be honest I would extend the invitation with clear guidelines because irregardless of how shitty they are they are yours (thats my motto)

Post # 5
Member
2550 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I have a piss poor relationship w/ my father but I did invite him because my Mom and siblings wore me down.  He was on good behaviour since he rarely gets invited to family events. And because he was acting right, he was even allowed to give a speech.  Now, he did try to turn the speech into a family issue, but my gurl nipped it. 

Personally, I would invite your brother.  If you guys get along, then that’s great.  I would only invite your parents if you want to but not because of obligation.  If you decide to invite your Mom, decide how you want to incorporate her into your wedding. My father was hurt I didn’t want him to walk me down the aisle.(Truth be told, I never wanted anyone to walk me down the aisle)  If you don’t want any drama, I wouldn’t invite your Dad.  I know your brother may tell him but be honest, he hasn’t been prominent in your life and you don’t care for him.  Its about you and your FI, not family drama.

Hugs!!!  I know its a tough decision but live w/ whatever you decide. 

Post # 7
Member
780 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Original Poster my heart goes out to you.  You should be SO PROUD of yourself for staying so positive, strong and focused on meeting your goals and dreams.  I think you should think twice about inviting your dad.  He was very rude to your fiance and doesn’t deserve the honor of walking you down the aisle- he didn’t raise you.  Do you even trust him to act appropriately?  I wouldn’t.

(((hugs)))

 

Post # 9
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

HELL FREAKING NO. This guy is a stranger and crazy drunk one do not invite him to the wedding. Also its weird and rude that you Fis brothers are inviting other people to be in your wedding, while he is your brotheryou dont really know him. I say if you want to get ot know him better invite him as a guest. Call him and tell him because of Dads behavior, drinking, court dates, plain nutjobness you dont want him there. Then the ball is in your brothers court to decide if he will come or not. Also have your FI give his brothers a big talking too, that was not only rude but put you in a weird situation.

Post # 11
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Sorry about the text  sometimes wedding bee does that to my writing I still can’t figure out why it does that  lol. What is it with these guys?? They probably have no clue how much money and planning and goes into a weddings or they wouldn’t be inviting random guest. I’m glad you shut that down! Good luck at your wedding!

Post # 12
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

It is good that you and your brother can have a relationship outside your father because maybe this will give you guys a chance to have a healthy family relationship. As for you mom and dad, not sure. That is something you should pray on and do what you decide. No one can make you feel bad about not inviting them and giving them this moment when they haven’t been there. Good luck!

 

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