Family Issues with planning my wedding

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@EmilyBeth:  Perhaps they are assuming your posts are just information sharing.

Does your FMIl use social media much?  sometimes  no news is good news.

Post # 4
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you in-laws aren’t into wedding planning, then they aren’t into wedding planning.  You should invite them, but there’s no need for them to be involved.  My in-laws are pretty much just showing up.  We ran the date by them just to make absolutely sure there wasn’t a conflict, but that’s it.  I had tried to include them, but it led to ridiculous situations, so now they’re being treated more like regular guests.

Post # 5
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@EmilyBeth:  Why should you elope, and spoil it for your family, just because your in-laws aren’t enthusiastic? Just carry on and plan.

Not everyone is reponsive to emails, especially group emails. I suggest if you want a response from her, to bypass email and communicate with her by phone. And it’s probably better if you fiance does the calls, since she’s his mother.

Post # 6
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Not everyone wants to be involved in that way.  My family is like that, but my inlaws aren’t.

Why not just plan the wedding and not ask them for input?  Doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.

Post # 7
Member
1981 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@EmilyBeth:  Group emails aren’t very personal, and maybe she’s not big on email anyway. I would try talking face to face or calling her- you may be imagining this problem. She hasn’t said or done anything nasty- many brides on here would consider that a blessing and having a good relationship with your FMIL. GL!

Post # 8
Member
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

What are the emails speciifcally about? Do they require a response? I dont think I’d respond to a group email either to be honest if its just an update on a wedding eight months away. Just plan your wedding it doesnt have to be a group decision.

 

 

Post # 9
Hostess
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Is it just the emails that are a problem or is there something else?

I don’t usually respond to group emails (unless they’re work related) because I assume they’re just group updates. If you want their feedback I’d talk to them about things directly. 

Post # 15
Member
7206 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@EmilyBeth:  You’re right: you need to trust them to get there and make their own accomodation arrangements. They’re adults (not just your in-laws, that goes for everyone). 

It’s not so important for everyone to stay in the same place. I was at a semi-destination wedding recently in a kind of similar situation (small town, interstate for many guests). People stayed in a few different places and it was all good. No one was too far from each other anyway because it was a small town.

Post # 16
Member
7282 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@EmilyBeth:  Well yeah that should warrant I response. I was thinking it was more in terms of superficial info. As hosts we go tend in with good intentions and want to take care of all the details (especially when it comes to out of town travelers) but if they aren’t being responsive, F it.

Just be prepared. If they come back to you later, past the deadlines, that you have your defense that you we beingproactive but that they weren’t responsive. Moving forward they are no responsible for their own accommodations now. No need to stress yourself out on them anymore. 

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