Post # 1
Well….for those who have followed some previous posts of mine, i have been being bullied at work to the point that it has turned into harrassment outside of work….and Ive taken a chance and applied and recieved a job offer and accepted a job at an awesome facility….its a level 1 trauma center as an ADN RN….those in nursing know how hard it is to even get an interview at a level 1 trauma center let alone an offer and esp. when your an ADN….SO naturally I was estatic….when I found out the Fiance has like a job of a lifetime oppertunity….and we decided that we are going to take the oppertunities and move away from the toxic jobs we are in now….itll be the first time in 1 whole year that Fiance will be getting full time benefits and insurance, as well as full time hours….SO we are putting in our notices and moving 3 hours down the road to another town….His family is estatic for us, and is already offering to help us move…..Our friends, family and siblings are all beyond estatic for us…..we even found the sweetest little house to rent! So what is the problem you may ask??? What could possibly go wrong in this perfect blissful situation…..
We have only one thing that is even holding us back from dancing down the streets…. MY parents….It completely caught me by suprise….my MOM has been such a negative nancy about the whole situation….i dont live near them now….i live 1 hour away from them now so itd only be 4 hours away from them….on interstate….so its not like im moving 18 hours away….My moms only complaint is that my grown sister (20) lives in our spare room right now because she couldnt find a place….she handles herself well, and is on our lease so she would retain the house we live in now….weve found some new furniture so literally the only thing she would have to get is a tv stand, an internet router and a table and chairs….thats it….shes getting a free bedroom set, a second dresser, flat screen tv, desk, some dishes and cookware, washer and dryer, microwave, lamps, drapes, you name it….were giving it to her for free 100% free and clear….she has ALL Of her school paid for by scholarships….our bills and rent are pretty cheap…and she just got a new job….she wouldnt even have to move…not even bedrooms….but apparently i am a horrific person for even thinking about moving….even though my sister threw a year long fit, because she didnt want to live wih us, and still dosent….shes told my parents that…but they insist she wants too….
We are still moving and going to do what is best for us….idk why im writing….i guess just to get some suppourt…..when we last moved my parents threw a 5 month long shit fit….because we were moving to a small town closer to home….and by god….how dare we walk away from where we were….when we moved to a different house in the same town….they flipped their shit…anytime i change anything they freak out….like redikulous….
i just wanted to know if anyone elses family was like this….and how do you cope…..im trying to ignore it and rock and roll….my mom has some health issues….but nothing i couldnt be home for asap….so idk what the heck….were not even that close….i live an hour away and the 2 years ive been that close they have come and seen me 3 times…..until my sister moved in then theyve been here 8 times in 2 months….so idk what the F to think….
can i get a little encouragement bees??
Post # 3
You most certainly can have some encouragement. First off, congrats on what sounds like an awesome change of events for you! Second, you and Fiance are now your own little family and that should mean your born into family should respect your decisions. When I told my (estranged) father I was moving, he seriously wanted to discuss my decision with my mother he’d been divorced from for 10+ years!!!!! It was so ridiculous I had to laugh.
Post # 4
Don’t sabotage the chance of a better career because your parents will be upset. Four hours isn’t that bad; it isn’t like you’re moving to a different country or something. Congrats on the new job, and I hope everything works out for you!
Post # 5
Do what ias best for you! Don’t doubt it!!
Post # 6
You have to do your own thing and what makes you guys happy. Parents get an influence when you are young, but now you are old enough to be your own boss 🙂
Post # 7
thanks everyone……i know this is whats right for me….it was just whole day of my parents making me feel horrible……just gotta keep my head up…..
Post # 8
@kansas_nurse: Congratulations on the new jobs, new house and new start in life! And everything else…screw it!
Post # 10
@kansas_nurse: It’s time your mom cut the umbilical cord. You’re 100% doing the right thing and don’t let family guilt you. p.s. I remember your old posts, good on you for escaping that toxic situation.
Post # 11
It’s always a sad day when you find out that your parents are just normal people, and therefore can be selfish arseholes like everyone else.
I’m sorry that they can’t just be happy for you. Perhaps that is a question you can ask them, a simple ‘Why can’t you be happy for me?’
Also concentrate on one of the many great things about being an adult, that you don’t have to expose yourself to their negativity.
Post # 12
Your mother has no control over you anymore. You are an adult, you can make your own decisions. Congratulations to you and your partner on your amazing job opportunities! Please don’t feel guilted into staying where you are. You’re doing a good thing for your sister. Don’t be made to feel bad for what you’re doing!! It’s a great opportunity, take it!
Post # 13
thanks everyone…..i was just upset at the sheer lack of support….my parents know me well enough to know that i dont ever make rash….or haste decisions, we had thought about it long and hard, and knew either this winter or early spring we would be hopefully making this same move, instead its bumped up 3 months sooner then where we originally planned….i love my family, i always will, ill be 4hours from home, which they had no problem with when they wanted me to move when they thought i should move to an area where they frequently had doctor appts for my sister which is also one of the most crime ridden areas in our half of the state….
I know they arent thrilled, but if this is what makes or breaks relationships for me with family members then that is incredibly sad….even more so when 99% of their reasons are my sister and how they dont want her to live alone….blah blah….she cand do to much in an apartment, they are even trying to force her into going into the dorms at the local college instead of letting her keep our house,because well they “are footing her college bill, so what we want goes.” even though my sister could afford this house on her own and has a possible room mate starting in December….thus far have given 2 reasons for me not to move that even involved me….
Post # 14
I should add that 98% of the trouble i got in in college, where a direct result of being in the dorms….(ie. my room mate walks in with a case of beer and our whole dorm unit has a massive beer pong party, lol oops!)